


Always and forever

by Thecamcam



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Bottom Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Bottom Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Happy Ending, Hurt Son Hyunwoo / Shownu, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Suicide Attempt, Top Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Top Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2020-12-27 01:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thecamcam/pseuds/Thecamcam
Summary: Hyunwoo was shaking a little and Hoseok could clearly see that he was in pain. Every little movement made him huff and grunt. Hoseok drew little circles on his back, trying to soothe him while they wait for the other person. They didn’t talk, to be honest, Hoseok didn’t know what to say. Right now, he just wanted to scream and go kill the assholes who hurt his precious Hyunwoo.





	1. Chapter  1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there !  
I present to you my first fanfic. I've been reading fanfictions for a long while now and I thought that it was time that I created my own work.  
I really hope you like it, don't hesitate to give me feedbacks, I'd love to know what you think!  
Enjoy!
> 
> PS: English is not my first language so pardon me for any mistake.

Hoseok took a deep breath and stepped out of the police car. They were park in the parking lot of a shitty motel. Two other police cars parked right behind them and several men with heavy police gears stepped out. They didn’t know what they were going to find so the team in charge of the investigation asked for back-up. Hoseok had been allowed to come with, advancing some arguments such as the fact that if they were to find Hyunwoo, he would need him. He would need a familiar and loving face and most importantly he would need his boyfriend after this traumatic experience (but they didn’t have to know about the boyfriend part). Hoseok was just here as loving friend and bandmate. 

Officer Park, in charge of the case, spoke to him. 

“You stay here, better yet you climb back in the car. You do not move a finger until I tell you so. We’re going to scout out the perimeter and check all the rooms, if we find him, we’ll tell you.”

Hoseok did as he was told and got back into the car. It was the 6th location that they searched in the last four weeks. Hyunwoo had been missing for a month now and Hoseok was losing his mind. All the other members were too but Hoesok was definitely the one going the craziest. Hyunwoo disappeared on one of his morning jogs. He always liked to go alone, without any other band members or bodyguards. The agency let him, it was early enough in the morning that not many people were outside, so he didn’t risk being recognized and mobbed by the crowd. 

At that time, that was the agency only concern. They never thought about anything else happening. But on a Monday morning in July, Hyunwoo never came back from his jog. They didn’t have to wait 24 hours to fill a missing person report, Hyunwoo being an idol, they got some special treatment here and there. The search began in the afternoon on that very same Monday and has been going on ever since. 

After two weeks of investigation, they finally found the band of assholes that kidnapped him. At the head of the band was a rich Chinese businessman, Mr. Wu, who was doing a lot of illegal business and had a strong taste for young and beautiful men. When the police found Mr. Wu and his band in one of Mr. Wu’s properties, Hyunwoo was nowhere to be seen. The officers interrogated Mr. Wu and his associates thoroughly, but no one was willing to talk. Mr. Wu admitted that the kidnapping was there doing and that Hyunwoo was some place “safe” and being “taken care of” by some of his men that they didn’t arrest. Hoseok who had been at the police precinct almost all the time since the beginning of the investigation then decided to go on all the searches with the police officers, which is why he was currently sitting in the backseat of a police car, waiting for news, hopefully good news.

Hoseok looked through the window of the car. The place didn’t seem to have a lot of rooms and he could see the policemen going through all the rooms, one by one. Hoseok’s hands were shaking like always, he looked a mess and had definitely lost weight. He couldn’t sleep nor eat well since Hyunwoo’s disappearance. He was always worrying and imaging the worst and since they caught Mr. Wu, it was only getting worse. The fucker really loved to make some dirty insinuations about all the things that he did to his boyfriend. Hoseok wasn’t allowed in the interrogation room but he was always behind the one-way mirror, listening and watching everything. There was no doubt in his mind that his boyfriend had been sexually assaulted several times by this asshole and probably some of his men. The first time he heard Wu talked about the disgusting things he did to Hyunwoo, Hoseok almost barged into the room to kill him with his bare hands. He was stopped by two police officers who difficulty managed to calm him down. After that, he just ran to bathroom to throw up and cry until Minhyuk came to get him back to the dorm. 

A knock on the window brought back Hoseok to present time. Hoseok opened the door when he saw Officer Park behind the glass. 

“We found him, he is in pretty bad shape, he needs to be examined by a doctor quickly. He is asking for you, he won’t let anyone near him. You have five minutes with him alone, then he needs to go to the hospital. He asked us not to call his parents just yet. No sign of Mr. Wu’s men.”

Hoseok nodded and got out the car for the second time today. Officer Park gave him the number of the room and left him to go talk to his superior. Hoseok took a shallow breath and forced his feet to get moving. He climbed the outside stairs slowly, preparing himself for the worst. Whatever was the state he would find his boyfriend in, he needed to be strong for the both of them. Once he reached the room, guarded by two police officers, he took a minute to calm himself and dry his sweaty hands on his jeans. He put a hand on the door handle and opened the door. 

He entered the room slowly, taking in the old wallpaper and the ratty carpet on the floor. He was in a small corridor with a door on his left slightly ajar that seems to open on a small bathroom. As he walked further into the room, he noticed that the curtains were close and kept the room in semi darkness. At the end of the corridor was the bedroom and a small kitchenette, looking old and dirty with dishes piled up in the sink. Hoseok stopped breathing for a second when he took in the sight of Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo was lying on his left side on the bed, which was as dirty and old as the rest of the room, all bundled up in a white sheet that had suspicious stains in some places. He had his eyes closed and seemed to be sleeping but Hoseok could tell he wasn’t by looking at the fast rise and fall of his chest. Hoseok didn’t know if Hyunwoo heard him come in so he called his name softly as to not scare him. 

“Woo…Babe, it’s me. Can I come closer?”

Hoseok remembered what the officer told him about Hyunwoo not wanting anyone near him so he preferred to make sure his boyfriend was ok with him first. 

Hyunwoo opened his eyes slowly and met Hoseok’s. Hyunwoo held his gaze about 3 seconds before he started crying. Hoseok rushed by his side and took him his arms and hugged in lightly at first but strengthen his hold when Hyunwoo hugged him back with all his force. 

“It’s ok my love, I’m here, it’s over. I love you so so much.”

Hyunwoo just kept crying into Hoseok’s arms for a while, ignoring that they didn’t have much time and Hoseok clearly not willing to rush him. After he calm down a bit, Hoseok started talking again.

“Babe, we have to get you to the hospital, you need to be looked at and…”

“Please don’t leave me, please.”

“I’m not leaving you, I promise, I’m coming with you but we need to get going. I’m sorry to rush you but the officers outside are waiting. Do you… Do you have any clothes in this room?”  
Hoseok could see that his boyfriend was naked under the sheet. He also noticed that his body was littered with bruises and small cuts. He blinked back the tears that threaten to spill and force a small reassuring smile on his face.

“No, I… I don’t have any clothes here and there’s…”

Hyunwoo didn’t finish his sentence and just lifted the sheet around his right ankle. Hoseok didn’t notice it before but now he could clearly see a metal chain that was tightly locked around Hyunwoo’s foot and attached to a loop on the floor by the bed. The chain seemed long enough so Hyunwoo could wonder in the small room but could certainly not go outside. 

“It’s ok, babe. I’m gonna ask an officer to remove it, they have the material necessary and I’m gonna get you some clothes. I’ll be right back.”

“No, no, please, don’t go, please, don’t leave me here, I…I…”

Hyunwoo was on the verge of crying again and Hoseok could see that he was starting to hyperventilate.

“Calm down, love, I’m not going, I’m just gonna make a quick phone call instead, is that ok?”

“Yeah. Th…Thank you.” 

Hyunwoo knew in the back of his head that he wasn’t being rational right now but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just knew that he needed his boyfriend here with him. Hoseok got his phone out of his jeans pocket while still hugging his boyfriend, he speed-dialled the Officer Park number who answered curtly. 

“You’ve been in here more than 10 minutes, we need to get moving before we attract to many bystanders or worse, the press.”

“Yeah, I just need someone to bring me some clothes for Hyunwoo and… and something to cut off a metal chain.”

“A metal chain? What? I didn’t notice any chain earlier… I’m bringing in a guy with the necessary in 5 minutes.”

Hoseok ended the call and focused on Hyunwoo once again.

“A guy is coming with the necessary things in 5 minutes then we’ll go to the hospital together. You are going to be ok baby,” Hoseok whispered to Hyuwoo who still had his head buried in Hoeseok’s chest.

Hyunwoo was shaking a little and Hoseok could clearly see that he was in pain. Every little movement made him huff and grunt. Hoseok drew little circles on his back, trying to soothe him while they wait for the other person. They didn’t talk, to be honest, Hoseok didn’t know what to say. Right now, he just wanted to scream and go kill the assholes who hurt his precious Hyunwoo. 

A sharp knock at the door made Hyunwoo jump and hide even more under the blanket. Only his head could be seen and Hoseok noticed that Hyunwoo was clenching the blanket so hard that his knuckles had turned white. 

“Come in,” Hoseok said, knowing that the guard outside had the key and that he didn’t need to stand up to go open the door. 

The person came in slowly, not wanting to frighten any of them. 

“Just leave the clothes and the metal pliers on the kitchen counter, we’ll be out in 5 minutes. Thank you,” said Hoseok when he sensed that Hyunwoo was growing tenser and tenser as the guy walked in the flat. 

The other person nodded and did as he was told before leaving as silently as he came in.

“Babe, I’m standing up to get the pliers and cut the chain. I’m not going anywhere,” announced Hoseok as he untangled his body from Hyunwoo’s. 

Cutting the chain around Hyunwoo’s ankle was easier that he expected, the thing was in poor shape. After that, Hoseok grabbed the underwear, the pair of sweatpants and the large t-shirt that were brought in and handed them to Hyunwoo. 

“Do you need help to put them on?”

“I…I’m good thanks. Could you just… turn around? I don’t want you to see me like that.”

“Babe… I…” But Hyuwoo didn’t let him the time to finish his sentence and said sharply.

“Please, Hoseok. Just turn around.”

Hoseok just nodded and turned around. As he heard the sheets ruffle and heard Hyunwoo move around, he couldn’t stop his brain from imagining the state of his body. Hyunwoo had always been a bit shy and demure, mostly at the beginning of their relationship but it wasn’t the case anymore. They had been dating for more than a year now and Hyunwoo didn’t shy away from Hoseok’s gaze anymore. Sure, he still blushed sometimes during sex or if Hoseok’s gazes were too insistent but that was it. If Hyunwoo insisted that he didn’t want Hoseok to see him, that must mean he was in a really bad shape. 

Hoseok heard a grunt and then a thud, like a body hitting the floor. Before he could realize what he was doing, he turned around, wanting to check on Hyunwoo. 

“Babe, are you…,” Hoseok breath got stuck in his throat at the sight in front of him. 

It seemed like Hyunwoo had tried to stand up but fell, his legs not supporting his weight. Hyunwoo was half sitting, half lying of the floor, clearly in pain and completely naked. This way, Hoseok could see why Hyunwoo didn’t want him to see him like that. Hyunwoo’s whole body was covered with bruises, marks and cuts but the worst was below his waist. Hoseok could see blood and dry semen between his boyfriend’s thighs. He made a chocked sound, his eyes filling with tears of rage and sadness at the sight. When Hyunwoo noticed his boyfriend’s gaze, he hung his head low and said quietly, almost sobbing. 

“I… I’m sorry. I… One of the men was here last night and… and…. When he left, I didn’t have the strength to wash up, I…”

Hyunwoo could not finish his sentence, the tears that he tried to hold back just flew out of his eyes. Hoseok was quick to react and fell to his knees beside Hyunwoo to embrace him tightly. 

“Don’t apologize, you have nothing to apologize for baby. I’m so so sorry that this happened to you, I promise you they are going to pay for everything. I love you so much Hyunwoo.”  
Hyunwoo smiled sadly to Hoseok and just snuggled closer to him. Hoseok hold him in tight and said slowly, 

“I’m gonna help you lie back down on the bed and then I’ll get something to clean you up quickly if it’s ok with you?”

Hyunwoo nodded so Hoseok started to stand up and helped his boyfriend do the same. After he had lain back Hyunwoo on the bed, Hoseok went into the small bathroom to try and find something to clean up Hyunwoo. He found a wet washcloth on the edge of the sink, which he rinsed before going back into the other room. 

Hoseok sat down on the bed slowly and dropped a small kiss on Hyunwoo’s lips while cradling his head with his right hand. Hoseok then cleaned his boyfriend slowly, making sure to not hurt him more in the process. After that he helped him put on the sweat and t-shirt, all the while dropping small kisses here and there, just trying to make Hyunwoo feel safe and loved.  
Just when they were finishing up, they heard a small knock on the door. 

“Guys, are you ok in there? We gotta go.” 

It was Officer Park. 

“Yes, we’re coming,” Hoseok answered.

Hoseok helped Hyunwoo to stand up and then walked him slowly to the door of the apartment. 

“Ready, babe?” Hoseok asked with his hand on the door’s handle. 

Hyunwoo gave him a little nod and then they were outside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone !  
Thanks for your comments and kudos, I'm glad you liked it !  
Here's the second chapter :)  
I think I'll be posting one chapter every Sunday so stay tuned !  
Have a good weekend and enjoy :)

Everything happened so fast after that. Hyunwoo and Hoseok were ushered quickly into the back of a massive black van. Two police officers with heavy gears climbed in the back with them. Officer Park was in the front, very silent and glancing occasionally through the rear-view mirror at Hyunwoo’s and Hoseok’s hands tightly clasped together. Hoseok could sense that Hyunwoo was very uncomfortable sitting in a small space with several men he didn’t know. He was almost crushing his hand but Hoseok didn’t say anything.

After a short while, the van parked in front of what seemed to be the back entrance of a private high-end hospital. Officer Park climbed out of the car and opened the back door of the van. The police officers climbed out first and then Hoseok and Hyunwoo did the same. Hyunwoo stuck to Hoseok’s sides like a pot of glue, not letting go of his hand for a moment and never lifting his eyes off the ground. Officer Park lead them inside, telling the other police officers to stay put. Officer Park seemed to know exactly where they were going, leading them through different small corridors that were completely empty. 

“Where are we going?” Hoseok asked after a few minutes. He found it strange that no nurses or doctors came to meet them. Not that he didn’t trust Officer Park but still. 

“I’m taking you to a special examination room. It’s one of the rooms that this hospital use when they have to keep maximum privacy for the patient. I’ve been there a couple time throughout my career.”

They eventually arrived in a quite large examination room like Officer Park said. The room was very white and very modern, with tons of different equipment and a big exam table in the centre. There were no windows, just bright white light coming from the ceiling lamps. The whole atmosphere was pretty cold but that wasn’t very unsettling since they were in a hospital.

“Ok, so here’s how it’s gonna go. I will wait with you until the doctor arrives then I’ll have to go. The doctor will do a complete check-up of Hyunwoo, make sure he is ok and if possible, collect DNA of Hyunwoo’s attackers. After that, he’ll bring you back to the back entrance where police officers will be waiting to get you back to the police station very discreetly.” Officer Park then talked directly to Hyunwoo for the first time. “Hyunwoo, you’re sure you still don’t want to let your family know you’re ok?”

“I… I don’t want see them right now.”

“You don’t have to see them right now. I can just call them and tell them that you’re ok and you’ll see then when you’re ready. They’ll understand I’m sure. They really were worried sick Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo seemed to pounder the pros and cons for a second then nodded. He couldn’t let his family worry now that he was going to be ok. He’ll talk to them when he was ready, on his own terms. 

“Woo, would you mind if we tell the members too?” Hoseok asked, almost timidly.

Hyunwoo tensed significantly at the mention of Monsta X’s other members. How was he going to face them again after what happened to him? He was supposed to be their big and strong leader, their rock and their guide through their tumultuous idol’s lives. He was always the one they looked up to for about anything and everything. But right now, he didn’t feel strong at all, he didn’t feel like he could lead them anymore. Hell, ha wasn’t even sure the other guys would still want him to be their leader after all that happened. Hyunwoo suddenly had the urge to asked something. 

“Do they… do they know about what happened to me? About… everything?” 

Hoseok automatically figured out what was Hyunwoo talking about. 

“They don’t. Nobody knows besides me and the police officers who worked on the case. Officer Park and his team made sure to keep all info about your case very private. I only know it because I wouldn’t really budge from the police station at all this last month and I guess they got tired of kicking me out every day.” Hyunwoo smiled a little at the last statement and then Hoseok continued. “They don’t have to know what happened, it’s your choice. You can tell them when you are ready or not at all if you decide. But I think they would be so relieved to just know that you are ok.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Officer Park, please tell my family and my members that I’m fine and that I’ll talk to them… later.”

“Of course, Hyunwoo. I will.”

Just as they were finishing talking, the door opened to reveal a young male doctor in a pristine white gown and with a chart in his right hand. 

“Good morning everyone. I’m Doctor Kim, I’ll be doing Hunwoo’s medical exam.”

“Nice to meet you doctor. I’m officer Park and this is Hyunwoo and Hoseok, Hyunwoo’s friend and bandmate.” Officer Park said while pointing at them. “I have to go, I’ll leave you to it then. Hyunwoo, Hoseok, I’ll see you both at the police station afterward.” 

Both Hyunwoo and Hoseok nodded just before officer Park slipped out of the room. Then the doctor turned to them. 

“So, Hyunwoo, do you want Hoseok to stay during your medical exam or would you rather have him wait outside?”

“I want him to stay.” Hyunwoo answered maybe a little sharper than he intended to. He was growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute. He really would have preferred a woman doctor to do his check-up. He didn’t feel like letting a man he didn’t know touch him even if the rational part of his brain was telling him that he wasn’t in any danger here, he still couldn’t shake off his uneasiness. 

“Ok then. Let’s begin.”

Hoseok stood by as he watched the doctor gave some instructions to Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo had to change into some hospital gown first but was allowed to keep his underwear, then he climbed up onto the exam table where he sat with his feet dangling from a side. Hoseok stood close to his boyfriend, he could sense that Hyunwoo was getting a little agitated and was growing more and more anxious by the minute. The doctor then started to ask a lot of questions about what happened during Hyunwoo’s captivity and at the same time he did the physical check-up, writing everything down on the chart. Hoseok did not even remember taking Hyunwoo’s hand into his own but was reminding of it when Hyunwoo almost crushed it after the doctor asked him if he had been sexually assaulted during his time in captivity. Hoseok reacted quickly.

“It’s ok, you can tell him everything, he is a doctor, he is here to help you.” 

Hyunwoo looked down and then whispered a feeble “yes” to the doctor. Doctor Kim then proceeded to ask even more questions about this particular topic which Hyunwoo wasn’t really inclined to talk about at all but had no choice. Hoseok tried to soothe him by drawing small circles with his hand on Hyunwoo’s back but that didn’t seem to work. Getting Hyunwoo to talk was harder and harder, he wouldn’t look up and answered all questions with about four-word sentences. But then everything got so much worse. 

“Hyunwoo, I’m going to need to examine you fully and … it includes your lower regions. I need to make sure you are ok down there and see if I can collect some of you aggressors’ DNA.”

Hoseok saw Hyunwoo become livid at that statement. Hoseok could clearly see sweat starting to form on Hyunwoo’s forehead and his breath was becoming shorter and quicker. Hyunwoo spoke up before Hoseok could do anything.

“I’m good, I don’t need you to check that part of my body.” Hyunwoo said while drowing his legs together, keeping them tightly shut.

“I know it’s uncomfortable but it’s the procedure Hyunwoo. In any rape case.”

“I said no.”

“Please, Hyunwoo,” and at the same time he said that, Doctor Kim had the brilliant idea to put both of his gloved hands on each of Hyunwoo’s bare thighs, just above his knees like he wanted to pull them apart. That made Hyunwoo flipped out. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Hyunwoo yelled while slapping the hands away and bringing his legs close to his chest. He put his forehead against his knees and let out a little sob. 

Hoseok shot a very dark look at the doctor but quickly turned around to try and talk to Hyunwoo.

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said after a few seconds, “I shouldn’t have touched you like that, I didn’t mean to do it, it was unprofessional, I’m sorry.”

“Could you leave us a minute?” Hoseok asked, a little sharper than he intended to. 

The doctor seemed indeed very sorry but the harm was already done. Doctor Kim just nodded and left the room. 

“Hey, baby, please, look at me, you’re ok, he is gone.”

Hyunwoo looked up, teary eyes and puffy lips from chewing at them. Hoseok’s heart clenched at the sight, he really wanted to punch the doctor’s face right now. 

“I’m so-sorry” Hyunwoo managed to stammer between two hiccups. “I shouldn’t have reacted this way, he was just trying to do his job.”

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for love. His job is also to be attentive and to make you feel comfortable and he clearly failed at those two.”

Hyunwoo gave a small smile to Hoseok and then opened his arms to silently ask for a hug. Hoseok complied gladly. 

“What would I do without you?” Hyunwoo whispered with his head buried in Hoseok’s neck. “Thank you for still being by my side. But… you know, you don’t have to, right? I mean, I would understand if you wanted to end our relationship, I’m so fucking dirty and used, maybe a little broken too,” Hyunwoo said with a dry chuckle, still trying to dry the tears that didn’t seem willing to stop rolling down his cheeks. “And I can’t stop crying for god sake.” Another dry chuckle. “I’m so weak. Ugh!” He finished with an exasperated grunt.

Hoseok took a second or two to process what Hyunwoo had just said. Then, he took a step back, untangling himself from his boyfriend’s arms and looked insistently at Hyunwoo who kept his head hung low. 

“Look at me, Hyunwoo.”

But Hyunwoo didn’t look up, he seemed to be fascinated by something on the floor. Hoseok sighed and grabbed Hyunwoo’s chin delicately but firmly and forced him to look up.

“You are not dirty, broken, or weak. Hell, you are the strongest person I know! I will always stay by your side, not because I feel obligated to but because I love you so damn much. I mean it, Woo. I love you and nothing is ever gonna change that. You are not gonna push me away like this.”

Hyunwoo didn’t say anything, just closed his eyes and leaned in the touch of Hoseok’s hand against his face. Hoseok finally came closer and wrapped his arms around Hyunwoo’s shoulders and dropped a small kiss on his head. Hyunwoo hugged him back and held on tight, not ready to let go of this moment.  
After a couple of minutes of hugging and just breathing in each other’s air, Hyunwoo eventually spoke up. 

“I think, we can let the doctor back in. I’m ready, I just want this exam to be over with.”

He wasn’t thrilled with anyone looking him up in his most private places but at the same time, he really wanted to know if everything was ok. He was still hurting a little and hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.  
Hoseok nodded and kissed him one last time before going in search of the young doctor.  
When Hoseok and Doctor Kim came back into the room, Doctor Kim still seemed very apologetic. Hyunwoo could clearly tell he hadn’t meant to hurt him. Doctor Kim apologized again before asking Hyunwoo if they could continue. Hyunwoo just nodded and lied back down on the exam table, holding Hoseok’s hand and looking into his eyes, focusing only on him. Hoseok held Hyunwoo’s hand during the whole procedure and tried to distract him as best as he could.

It turned out that Hyunwoo had some tearing and swelling that would take maybe a week or two to heal but nothing that would last much longer. After that, Doctor Kim also got him tested for STD’s and the first results showed no signs of any disease which was a great relief.  
The doctor then gave him a bottle of pain killers and a prescription to get more. Hyunwoo immediately popped two pills in his mouth, wishing it would numb the ach in his body quickly. He also prescribed him with creams to help heal his bruises and cuts. 

“Ok, Hyunwoo, we are done here. You can put your clothes back on, I’ll be waiting outside the door to take you both back to the back-exit.”

“Can I… Can I take a shower before going to the police station, please?” Hyunwoo asked. 

“Oh yes of course! Follow me, I’ll lead you to a private bathroom for staff only.”

Hyunwoo nodded, put his clothes back on and soon enough, Hoseok and him were both following Doctor Kim through different corridors till they arrived in front of the bathroom door.

“Don’t forget to lock up once you’re inside so nobody will bother you. I’ll be waiting for you in my office at the end of the corridor on the left, come find me when you’re done.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Hyunwoo said and then Doctor Kim left them alone. 

Hyunwoo and Hoseok quickly entered the small bathroom, Hyunwoo letting out a little sigh of relief at being alone with Hoseok for a little while with nobody to disturb them.  
“Come on babe, hop in the shower, I’ll be waiting for you here.” Hoseok said while putting a comforting hand in the small of his boyfriend’s back. 

The bathroom was small but clean and tidy. There was a sink on the left of the door with a big mirror above it and some shelves on the side. Hyunwoo could see small toothbrushes and toothpaste in their plastic wrapping, probably here for on call doctors who didn’t bring theirs. In front of the sink was a small shower cubicle with a white curtain. All the necessary products were already in the shower and Hoseok found cleaned and fluffly towels under the sink. 

Hoseok laid back against the sink and smiled at his boyfriend. Hyunwoo smiled back but instead of going into the shower like he was supposed to, he came closer to Hoseok, fitting himself between his boyfriend’s legs and put his arms around his neck. Hoseok was looking at him with such intensity that it made him shiver. Hoseok eventually sneaked up his own arms around Hyunwoo’s thin waist and held him a little closer. He brought is forehead to Hyunwoo’s and close his eyes for a little while. It felt good, just being like this with Hyunwoo after all this time and all that happened. He felt calm and grounded, not like the huge mess he had been feeling for the last month.

“I really thought I’ll never see you again.” Hyunwoo said after a few minutes. “I was so sad and angry at myself because we got into a stupid fight the night before I got kidnapped and that was entirely my fault.”

“Hyun—”

“I don’t even remember what the fight was about, I just remember it was stupid and I said some harsh words that I really didn’t mean, like at all.”

“Babe, it’s ok, I know—”

“I thought I will never be able to tell you again how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I need you to know you’re the best thing that had ever happened to me and you always will be. Like whatever I say, please don’t think otherwise, never. I—”

“Hey, hey, hey, baby, stop, you’re running out of breath,” Hoseok finally said with a small chuckle. “I already know all that, don’t stress about it, alright?”

“Promise me we’ll never get into a stupid fight again?” Hyunwoo asked, almost candidly. 

Hoseok chuckled again and ran his hand through his boyfriend’s hair. 

“You know I can’t promise you that, babe. We will fight over stupid stuff sometimes and it’s totally fine. We will have fights over more important stuff too and it’s ok because what I can promise you is that we will always work through it, always. It doesn’t matter what stupid little things we can say in the heat of the moment, what matters is that I love you and you love me and we’ll always be there for one another.”

Hyunwoo didn’t even realize he started crying – again – until he felt Hoseok’s thumb drying the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Hoseok was still smiling at him and Hyunwoo couldn’t help but smile back between his tears. 

“I really hope it’s happy tears this time, huh?” Hoseok asked lightly, still drying the tears with his thumbs.

Hyunwoo laughed a little at that and kissed one of Hoseok’s hands, before diving back in for a ninth hug.

After several minutes, Hyunwoo finally let go of Hoseok to get into the shower. He washed himself quickly, dressed up and brushed his teeth. He felt already a thousand times better than he felt this morning when they found him. He shared a last quick kiss with Hoseok and then they were outside the bathroom, walking in direction of Doctor Kim’s office.  
Doctor Kim then brought them back to the backdoor by which they came in. Outside, a police car was waiting for them, Hoseok recognized Officer Lee, Officer Park’s assistant. The doctor gave to the officer the results of Hyunwoo’s check-up then they were on their way to the police station.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :)  
Here's the third chapter a little earlier than expected.  
To be honest, after the news of Wonho leaving I wasn't sure if I was going to update this fic anymore but it felt kinda therapeutic to write, like I was so sad and angry at the whole thing and writing actually made me feel better. Also, I really want to finish this fanfic, it's my first one and it's super important to me.  
I really hope you will continue to enjoy this fic, I know I do. I'm warning you this chapter is kinda sad I guess (it's gonna get worse before it gets better sorryyy)  
Have a good evening (well for me it's evening) and enjoy !
> 
> Ps: you will probably get another chapter on Sunday, I'm pretty motivated right now !

“Hyunwoo hyung!”

Hyunwoo had just passed the threshold of their dorm that he was already being engulf in a bone-crushing hug. Hyunwoo tensed a little at the touch at first but relaxed quickly when he took in the familiar scent.

“For god’s sake Minhyuk-ah, let the man breath,” Kihyun intervened lightly, a small smile on his lips.

Minhyuk let go of Hyunwoo gingerly, still staying in close proximity of their leader. Hyunwoo then proceeded to greet all of his members with warm hugs and sometimes some tears here and there. He had been so stressed about this moment, about their reunions and how it would go. He was more than happy to find himself all the more stress free as each member took time to welcome him back. Hoseok watched the scene with a genuine smile on his lips, standing in the background and letting all of the other members shower Hyunwoo with love. He had been so scared that this moment was going to be awkward and unsettling for Hyunwoo but it was exactly the opposite that happened. Hyunwoo seemed like he was back where he belonged, and everything fell into place again.

Once they were all done with the hugs, the tears and the sweet words. They all sat down in the living room, Hyunwoo between Hoseok’s legs on the ground. The tension was rising a little now, nobody really knew what they should say so Hyunwoo decided he was up to him to put everyone at ease.

“I… Listen guys, I don’t want you to be awkward around me or anything. I’m not… I’m not really ready to talk about what happened during the last month and I’ll be just really thankful to you guys if you could pretend like nothing happened and just treat me as you normally do. I know it’s a lot to ask but I just want everything to go back to normal. I’m gonna take a two-week break from all our activities but I’ll be staying in the dorm to get reacquainted with everything. I just want you to go about your days as usual and treat me the way you did before. It feels so good to just be back here again, I missed you all so so much-- ”

Hyunwoo voiced cracked a little at the end of his sentence and some tears escaped him but he dried them off quickly and smiled at all his members.

“Anyway, I’m exhausted right now so I’m gonna go take a nap, don’t wait for me for dinner if I’m not up yet.”

All the members nodded and starting chatting with each other. Bickering on who was going to be designated to make dinner since Kihyun decided he was high time for the others to learn how to cook.

“Can I come nap with you, babe?” Hoseok whispered in his ear so no one would hear him besides Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo smiled and nodded, turning his head to give a subtle kiss to his lover’s neck that made Hoseok shivered. God, he had missed this.  
Hyunwoo stood up, extending his hand to help Hoseok on his feet as well. After throwing a small smile in the general direction of the other members, Hyunwoo started walking to his room, that he shared only with Hoseok, hand in hand with the latter.

“Good nap guys,” Changkyun started, “just remember Heseokkie, Hyunwoo hyung is supposed to rest.” Changkyun finished with a small smirk.

Hyunwoo immediately started to blush – hard – and Jooheon didn’t hesitate to flick Changkyun’s forehead – hard – and the others just started laughing at the indignant sounds that left Changkyun’s mouth followed by a litany of cursed words that were all directed at Jooheon, who was already trying to hug the maknae to apologize.

Hoseok smiled a little at the scene but then tugged Hyunwoo towards their share bedroom, not really wanting to get into a fake argument with Changkyun about the younger having to stop making lewd jokes all the time. It has been a very long day and they were both extremely tired. They undressed quickly, leaving just their underwear on and then climbed into Hyunwoo’s twin bed, so used to sleeping together in such a small space. Hyunwoo automatically snuggled really close to Hoseok with his head nestled just beneath his boyfriend’s chin.

After the medical check-up that had ended around midday, they had to go back to the police station to get Hyunwoo’s deposition and get all the administrative paperwork sorted. Hoseok had stayed with Hyunwoo during the whole process and Hyunwoo was immensely grateful to him. He couldn’t have done it without him by his side. Hoseok had also been here for Hyunwoo when Officer Park told them that Hyunwoo’s parents were here. Hyunwoo had been furious at first, he told officer Park to tell his parents that he would call them when he was ready, but now they ambushed him at the police station. Hyunwoo didn’t want to see them, he wasn’t ready, he wouldn’t know what to say and the whole thing was just going to be huge mess, awkward and unpleasant for everyone. Hoseok didn’t try to push his boyfriend but at the same time, he knew Hyunwoo like the back of his hand. He knew how much his parents meant to him, how close he was with them, how much he loved them and how much he missed them during all their time on tour and promotion. Hoseok didn’t say much but he must have said the right things since Hyunwoo finally accepted to see his parents and only tears of joy left his boyfriend’s eyes for the whole time they were together. After their reunions, it had been finally time to leave the police station. Hyunwoo’s mum had asked them to stay the night at their place but Hyunwoo declined politely, then Hoseok offered to get a hotel room just to have some much-needed time alone but Hyunwoo shook his head again.

“I want to see the guys. I want to go back to the dorms, if that’s ok with you.” Hyunwoo had said after seeing Hoseok’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Of course it’s ok with me, babe! I just thought you didn’t want to see them yet.”

“Well, seeing my parents made me realize how much I’ve missed my old life, wait no, my life, period.”

Hoseok had smiled a little at that, Hyunwoo was getting little by little back to his confident self.

“I just want everything to go back to normal and that includes being back at the dorms with everyone.”

Hoseok had just smiled wider at that and minutes later, they were in a car, on their way to the dorms.

Now, both boys were cuddling sleepily on Hyunwoo’s bed after that long and tiring day. Hoseok was dropping small kisses on top of his boyfriend’s head while little noises of content just kept on escaping Hyunwoo’s mouth. Hoseok paired his kisses with slow backrubs and Hyunwoo was asleep minutes later. Hoseok didn’t fall asleep as easily as Hyunwoo did. The events of the day kept playing in his head. He was at the same time so happy to have Hyunwoo back in his arms but so mad at the state he was in. It was so heart-breaking seeing him like this. He wished he could have a magic stick and make all of what happened disappear. He was so sad for Hyunwoo but couldn’t show it, he needed to be strong, to be his rock and to shield him from this harsh world. There will be a long road to recovery ahead for Hyunwoo, and Hoseok promised himself to be there every step of the way. He knew Hyunwoo was strong and he knew he will get through it eventually, with his help and the help of everybody who loves him.

Hyunwoo started to get agitated in his sleep, probably having a nightmare. Hoseok didn’t miss a beat.

“Shhh, baby, you’re ok. I’m here, you’re safe.” Hyunwoo calmed down at those words but didn’t seem to wake up, he just snuggled closer to Hoseok who hold him even tighter while murmuring sweet words in Hyunwoo’s hair.

“I love you my sweet boy,” Hoseok whispered very low as to not wake him up, “I love you so much and I promise everything’s is going to be ok. Sleep well baby.”

And with a last kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, Hoseok finally managed to fall asleep, dreaming only of the boy lying next to him.

\----

When he woke, Hyunwoo felt cold. He extended his arm across the bed to grab and hug his boyfriend, but his hand only clasped on cold sheets. Hyunwoo turned around on his side and just sighed when he noticed that he was indeed alone in bed. There was however a small note on Hoseok’s pillow.

“We had to run to practice very early, didn’t want to wake you.  
See you tonight beautiful, love u <3”

Hyunwoo smiled at that, he thought it was cute. He put the note in his bedside drawer and then decided to get up instead of lazing around in bed all day. He took a shower and dressed up quickly, but when he was done, it was already almost noon. His stomach started to growl so he looked for something to eat in the fridge, but nothing seemed really appealing. He closed the fridge door and sighed and then thought about ordering something. There was a really good Thai place that he and Hoseok loved. They went on a couple of dates there, well it was dates for them, but they had to make it look like casual bros hanging out for the rest of the people there, which wasn’t that hard since Hoseok was also his best friend.

Hyunwoo smiled when he remembered the last time they went there. It was about two months ago, it had been for Hyunwoo’s birthday. Hyunwoo didn’t really want to celebrate it, he just wanted to have a night off for him and the rest of the group and just chill in their dorm with pizzas, drinks and bad dramas on TV. However, Hoseok had other plans for them since it had been a while since they last went out, just the two of them. Hoseok had taken him to dinner at that Thai place and then they went to see a movie. They sat at the very back of the dark and almost empty room, it was a late showing in a small and old movie theatre and Hoseok knew that they would be left alone in there. Hyunwoo barely remembered the movie, but he remembered very well making out with his boyfriend in this public area. It had been so thrilling, being able to kiss his boyfriend outside of the closed doors of their dorm or hotel rooms. They knew that it was a little dangerous and so forbidden by their agency but at that time they didn’t care, it was just so nice.

Hyunwoo was brought back to the present by his growling stomach, he really needed to get something to eat. He went to grab his phone in his pocket to make a quick call to that Thai restaurant when he realized that he didn’t have a phone anymore and he didn’t have time to go buy a new one yet. Well, he could maybe place an order online. He grabbed his laptop, which was still under the bed where he left it a month ago. Hyunwoo found the restaurant’s website quickly and smiled when he saw that he could order online. He placed his order quickly and was about to close his laptop when a notification appeared in his mails. It was the restaurant telling him that they had a problem with their delivery guy today and that he would have to pick up his order himself or cancel it.

Hyunwoo frowned a little at that, he wasn’t supposed to go outside alone, at least not for now. The agency had wanted him to have a bodyguard with him at all times when he would be alone during the day but Hyunwoo had refused, saying that it was useless since he was just going to stay inside all day and that the building was already enough secure as it is. The agency had agreed to let him be if he promised to not leave the dorm under any circumstances. Hyunwoo sighed. He was really craving Thai food right now and the restaurant was only a ten minutes’ walk from their apartment and the streets were always busy at this hour of the day. He wouldn’t be alone, he would be fine, right? Hyunwoo’s stomach pretty much answered the question by gurgling once again.

Hyunwoo took the keys that one of the members left on the cupboard near the front door and went outside. It was in the middle of August so his cap and sunglasses weren’t drawing any attention to him. The streets were busy like he predicted but he couldn’t help but being on edge. It was the first time he went out by himself since he was rescued and that was actually a lot harder and scarier than he thought. He had the impressions of seeing his aggressors everywhere in the streets, every male face reminded him of them. Also, it didn’t help that he knew that some of the men who attacked him hadn’t been caught yet.

When he arrived at the restaurant, Hyunwoo was sweating profusely and the heat had little to do with that. His whole body was breaking in cold sweat and he felt dizzy. He didn’t even know how he manage to pay for his food and get out of the restaurant, but he did. On his way back, Hyunwoo tried to calm himself, to focus on his breathing and block from his mind everybody else around him. It worked a little until he noticed a white van that seemed to be following him. His heartbeat shot up and he really thought for a minute that he was going into cardiac arrest. He started to walk quickly, trying to stay calm but when the back door opened and a man jumped out of the van just behind him, he lost it.

He dropped his food and just started to run like hell. The man behind him started to run as well and as Hyunwoo was almost in front of the dorm, the man actually caught up to him. Hyunwoo was getting ready to throw the fight of his life when he noticed the microphone, and then the press card hanging around the neck of the guy. He turned his head and saw the KBS logo on the side of the white van. The press. The fucking press. He almost had a heart attack because of a fucking journalist. Hyunwoo looked at the man in front of him who was still trying to catch his breath with his hands on his knees. Hyunwoo just scoffed and pushed by the man to get inside the building, not letting any time to the journalist for any question.

Once he was in his dorm, Hyunwoo just slide down against the front door and then stayed seated there for a little while. He had been so stupid, he shouldn’t have gone outside, it wasn’t safe and he wasn’t ready. His stomach growled again and Hyunwoo cursed under his breath this time. He had the scare of his life and he still didn’t have anything to eat. Hyunwoo wanted to cry from frustration but he bit his lips and blinked his tears away. He had quite his share of crying these past few days.

Hyunwoo finally stood up and grabbed a blanket and just lied down on the couch, not wanting to do anything right now, he was exhausted. He turned on the TV and started to watch some drama but he quickly lost interest and started to doze off.

Hyunwoo was awaken with a start, a deafening strike of lightning illuminated the whole living room. A thunderstorm was raging outside and Hyunwoo shivered when another lightning bolt stroke. The rain was falling heavily, tapping against the windows violently. It was already dark outside but it wasn’t that late, Hyunwoo was still alone in the dorm, the other members must still be at practice.

Hyunwoo wrapped the blanket tighter around himself and buried himself a little more between the pillows on the couch. He really hated thunderstorms. They had freaked him out ever since he was a little boy. He knew his fear was kind of irrational but he couldn’t help it. What a shitty day, Hyunwoo thought, he just wanted Hoseok to come back home already.  
Hyunwoo’s stomach started to growl – again – and Hyunwoo finally decided to make himself something to eat with what they had in the fridge. Hyunwoo was in the middle of making himself ramen when the power went out.

“Fuck! For real?” Hyunwoo exclaimed, exasperated.

Hyunwoo shook his head and went in search of anything to light up the dorm. Well, since it was his lucky day, he didn’t find anything, not a single candle or flashlight in this damn dorm. Hyunwoo finally gave up and just went to bed, not before snatching one of Hoseok’s shirt from the closet. He buried himself between the covers and buried his nose in Hoseok’s shirt. Another strike of lightning made Hyunwoo shiver and he let a single tear escape his eyes. For his first day back in the dorm, it couldn’t have been worst, he thought. He felt like all the forces in the universe were aligning against him. He felt vulnerable and powerless and he hated it. He punched his pillow weakly and cursed again.

“Hoseok, just come home already, please…” Hyunwoo shook his head, his spirits must have been pretty low if he started to talk to himself.

Of course, Hoseok didn’t come home magically and Hyunwoo had to fall asleep alone, frustrated and just very sad.


	4. Chapter 4

“Shit, Kyun, I told you no noise! Why do you have to be so clumsy?” Hoseok said in an exasperated tone.

“Sorry, hyung but I don’t have night vision yet and this chair clearly wasn’t here this morning.” Changkyun answered, not sorry at all.

“It was here this morning, you smartass.” Jooheon chipped in, loving making things worse for Changkyun.

Changkyun was about to slam Jooheon with a sassy come back when Kihyun intervened.

“Guys, it’s 1 AM and I just want to go to sleep right now, so please everybody just go to their rooms, we’ll see about the power outage tomorrow. We have the morning off.”

“Yay!” Minhyunk started to cheer but Hoseok cut him short.

“In silence please! Hyunwoo is sleeping you fools.”

“Sorry hyung.” Minhyuk said, seeming actually sorry.

The guys then dispersed quickly to their share bedrooms, Hoseok entering his and Hyunwoo’s bedroom as silently as he could. He managed to undress without too much trouble but his attempt at making as little noise as possible failed miserably when he knocked his little toe against the foot of the bed and couldn’t help but curse. Hoseok heard a light chuckle coming from the bed.

“Woo, you awake?”

“No, it’s your friendly little ghost that lives under the bed.” Hyunwoo answered with a smile on his lips.

Hoseok chuckled at that, Hyunwoo was probably worse than Kyhyun when it came to smartass comments.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Well, you didn’t wake me up, Changkyun hitting the chair did. It was nice hearing you trying to silent this little band of misfits though.” Hyunwoo finished, still smiling.

Hoseok didn’t say anything but finally slipped between the covers and snuggled close to Hyunwoo.

“How was your day, baby?” Hoseok asked while stroking the older’s hair.

Hyunwoo sighed, he didn’t really want to burden Hoseok with his awful day, plus he knew he would freak out if he told him that he went out alone, so he decided to lie.

“It was ok I guess, I missed you.” The last part wasn’t a lie at least.

“I missed you too, I was so frustrated when practice ran this long but at least, we have the morning off tomorrow so we can laze around in bed together.”

Hyunwoo smile grew two times wider at that, this would definitely make up for the shitty day he had.

Hyunwoo cuddled up closer to Hoseok, looking at his face and holding his gaze with so much love and maybe a hint of lust. Before Hoseok could say anything, Hyunwoo captured his boyfriend’s lips in a slow kiss, chaste at first but quickly turning more heated, deep and full of passion. It was the first time that they kissed like that since Hyunwoo had been found. Hoseok didn’t really dare initiate contact of that sort, not wanting to rush Hyunwoo into anything he wasn’t ready for but right now, Hyunwoo seemed more than ok with what was happening. Hyunwoo slipped his hands along Hoseok’s bare torso which earned him a little moan. The older smiled while still kissing fervently the other. Hoseok was the first to break the kiss, the need for air a little too insistent at the end. Hyunwoo didn’t miss a beat and started peppering small kisses along his boyfriend’s neck while playing gently with his nipples that had started to harden under his touch. When Hyunwoo’s hand started to venture under the waistband of Hoseok’s underwear, the younger caught his hand firmly to stop him which made Hyunwoo frown.

“What’s wrong? Hyunwoo asked, confused and to be honest, a little hurt. “You don’t want to?”

“No, no of course I want to but the doctor said you shouldn’t have sex for a least two weeks, remember?”

“Well, he said I couldn’t get penetrated for the next two weeks but we can do plenty of other stuff, can’t we?” Hyunwoo said with a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Yeah, I guess, but… you’re sure you’re ready? I don’t want us to rush into anything.”

“I’m sure, and if there’s something I’m uncomfortable with, I’ll tell you ok? I just want to be as close to you as possible tonight, I want to feel good with you, it’s been so long.”

Hoseok didn’t say another word, he decided instead to kiss Hyunwoo, at first slow and passionate but it became rapidly quicker and needier. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but letting escape small moans, moans that were quickly absorbed by Hoseok’s hungry mouth. Hoseok loved these little sounds, he wanted Hyunwoo to never stop making them. While the younger was caressing Hyunwoo’s side slowly making the latter shiver and whimper, Hyunwoo tried a second time to slip his hand into his boyfriend’s underwear and this time, Hoseok didn’t stop him.

A whole-body shiver went through the younger when Hyunwoo eventually closed his hand around his shaft. It felt so incredible to have his boyfriend’s hands on him after all this time. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, he had been craving Hyunwo’s touch too much lately. The older started to stroke him slowly at first, holding him in a pretty loose fist. Hoseok whined a little, wanting more but Hyunwoo had always loved teasing him. Hyunwoo smiled in his neck, dropping small kisses on his right collarbone, he had missed those little sounds so much.

“Babe… stop teasing, please…” Hoseok whimpered, while biting his lips till they turned flush red.

“I’m not.” Hyunwoo answered with a grin so evident in his voice. His thumb went to rub against the head of Hoseok’s member, smearing precum and teasing the slit.

“Hyunwoo!” Hoseok exclaimed, half moaning, half reprimanding him.

Hyunwoo chuckled and kissed him on the lips, a chaste quick kiss before going back to his neck, being careful to not leave any marks even if he wanted to so bad.

After a couple more moments, Hyunwoo took pity on the younger. He tapped his waist to silently ask him to lift his hips so he could take off his underwear completely. Hoseok complied happily and let out a sigh of relief when he was freed from his cotton prison. Hyunwoo got back to work but this time he accelerated his movements while tightening his grip on his length. Each stroke was bringing his lover closer to the edge, it was really a beautiful sight. Hoseok with his head thrown back, biting at his bottom lip with his eyes closed. His chest was moving rapidly and his abs were tightening. The moonlight that filtered through the curtain made the whole scene so ethereal. Hyunwoo couldn’t look away.

“You’re so beautiful like that, fuck, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Hyunwoo said between two ragged breaths.

Hoseok whimpered at the compliment and Hyunwoo could see a faint blush forming on his cheekbones.

“Cum for me, baby, come on beautiful.” The older whispered right into Hoseok’s ear and that was all Hoseok needed to come undone. Hyunwoo watched as his lover was coming in thick white spurts on Hyunwoo’s hand and on his own stomach. Hyunwoo dropped a small kiss on Hoseok’s parted lips and turned around to grab some tissues and clean them up. Hoseok was still catching his breath when Hyunwoo threw the tissues in the general direction of the bin.

“Liked it?” Hyunwoo asked with small smile on his lips, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s chest.

“Of course, come here.”

And with that, Hoseok grabbed his boyfriend’s lips in another searing kiss. Hoseok then managed to flip them over so he was now straddling his boyfriend’s hips. Hyunwoo felt a shiver ran through his body but it wasn’t a pleasant one at all. The feeling of having someone’s weight on him was making him feel anxious. He tried to block the memories that seemed to be about to flood his mind. He was totally fine a minute ago when he was pleasuring Hoseok, why wouldn’t he be fine now? He tried to tell himself that there was nothing to be afraid of, that it was only Hoseok straddling him and he would never hurt him and it seemed to work. Hoseok had started kissing his collarbones, biting sometimes without leaving any marks and that made Hyunwoo moaned. Then, the younger slid down his torso, capturing his right nipples between his teeth and tweaking the other one with his fingers. Hoseok looked up at his boyfriend’s face and caught his gaze. Hyunwoo eyelids were dropping a little and his gaze seemed to be a little lost, filled with with love and lust and a little something else that Hoseok couldn’t quite put a finger on. But Hyunwoo seemed ok and lost in his own pleasure so Hoseok kept going. He bit down a little harder on one of Hyunwoo’s nipples which made the older moan so lewdly.

“Babe, more please, I need you.” The older whined cutely.

“Shhh, I got you babe. I’m gonna make you feel so good.” Hoseok purred. “Plus, I know you love my teasing.”

Hyunwoo could feel Hoseok’s smirk against his skin and he couldn’t help but smile too. Hyunwoo brought his hands into is boyfriend’s hair, playing with the black locks. It felt really good, sex hadn’t felt good in what seemed like ages for Hyunwoo so this, right now, was pretty fantastic.

Hoseok kept on teasing Hyunwoo’s nipples when a harsh tug on his locks made him whine a little.

“Sorry, babe, felt too good.” Hyunwoo said looking sheepish.

Hoseok smiled and kissed him slow. He then returned to his teasing and decided to hold Hyunwoo’s arms above his head with one hand while the other kept working on his lover chest. Another shiver went through Hyunwoo and that was again not a nice feeling. He really didn’t feel like being held down right now. He tried to move to get out of Hoseok’s hold but found out he couldn’t. Hoseok’s grip wasn’t that tight, in normal circumstances, he could have break free with no sweat but right now, he was like frozen in place. He tried to talk but no sound would leave his mouth, his breathing started to get quicker and quicker and he felt sweat gathering on his forehead. Tons of awful memories started to flood his mind, he wanted to tell Hoseok to stop but he couldn’t, he was frozen, he was scared and started shaking.

Hoseok was still kissing his boyfriend’s chest, now tracing his happy trail, totally unaware of the panic that were cursing through him, when he felt light tremors under his lips. Hoseok looked up, Hyunwoo never started to shake when they were in bed. What he saw froze him in his place.

“Babe, Hyunwoo, what’s going on?” Hoseok asked, his hands letting go of the older’s wrists to instead cradle his face lovingly. “Babe, talk to me, please, what did I do?”

“Get… Get off of me, please.” Hyunwoo managed to stammer in his shocked state.

Hoseok hurriedly got off of Hyunwoo’s waist and sat down on the mattress next to him.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t notice something was wrong, oh my god, shit, Hyunwoo, talk to me, are you ok? I’m really sorry.” Hoseok started to panic, Hyunwoo was still breathing hard and clutching the sheets tightly, not talking or even looking at Hoseok. He was trying to calm down and will the memories away.

“I’m ok,” Hyunwoo finally said after a minute or two, “It’s not your fault, you even warned me I might not be ready.”

“But what happened? You seemed to like it a moment ago?” Hoseok asked, confused and still a little shaken.

“I think it was when you held my wrists down, the loss of power in some way. Having your weight on top of me and my wrists pinned down freaked me out. I know I could have broken your hold easily but my body just froze.” Hyunwoo explained calmly after his panic attack passed.

“I’m so sorry, I should have thought about that. Fuck, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to hurt you, babe.” Hoseok felt really bad about what just happened and Hyunwoo could sense that the younger was going to beat himself down for days if he didn’t do something.

“Hoseok, look at me, please.” Hoseok who had his head in his hands eventually look up, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“You didn’t hurt me and you could not have predicted what just happened, it’s really not your fault and I don’t want you to feel bad about it, alright baby? Maybe next time, we can set some ground rules beforehand and if it happens again, it’s ok, we’ll work through it, together, like always.” Hoseok seemed to relax a little bit at the last statement. “Now lie back down, babe, I want to cuddle you.” Hyunwoo finished with pouty lips.

Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh a little, Hyunwoo could be so cute when he wanted to. The younger lied back down, his back against Hyunwoo’s torso. Hyunwoo draped his arms around his younger lover and dropped a small kiss on his shoulder. Hoseok was about to say something when Hyunwoo’s stomach growled pretty loudly.

“You hungry? You didn’t have dinner?” Hoseok asked, seeming really concerned.

“Mmm, well, actually, I kinda didn’t eat anything at all today.” Hyunwoo said sheepishly. He was pretty sure he was going to get shit for this.

And he was right.

“What?! Hyunwoo, that’s not healthy at all! You need to get your strength back or the doctors won’t let you resume your activities, you know that!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but when I was cooking ramen tonight, the power just went out.”

Hoseok sighed, he didn’t want to get into a fight with Hyunwoo right now but he really wanted his boyfriend to take care of himself. It was already hard enough to let him alone all day, he didn’t need to worry about Hyunwoo starving himself too.

Hoseok tried to turn on the bedside light but it didn’t work. Seemed like the power was still out.

“Well, I think there are some snacks in Jooheon and Changkyun’s room, don’t move, I’m gonna get you some.” Hoseok said as he was standing up from the bed.

Hyunwoo shivered when the warm body of his boyfriend left his side, leaving him cold between the sheets. Hoseok wasn’t long though and came back quickly with different type of snacks that he lied down on the bed. It wasn’t very healthy but at least Hyunwoo wouldn’t starve to death. Hyunwoo sat up in bed and threw a little smile in Hoseok’s way before he started munching on the snacks happily. Hoseok sat next to Hyunwoo and they started to chat lightly, Hoseok telling the older one about his day and Hyunwoo avoiding subtly to really talk about his. When Hyunwoo was done eating, they cleared the bed and got back under the covers. Hyunwoo settled his back in Hoseok’s chest and closed his eyes. Hoseok circled his arms around the older’s torso and rested his forehead against Hyunwoo’s nape.

“Goodnight, babe, love you.” Hoseok murmured in Hyunwoo’s neck.

“Night, love you too.” Hyunwoo mumbled, already half asleep between his boyfriend’s arms.

** \---**

The next two weeks passed in a blur, Hyunwoo was getting reacquainted with his old life slowly but surely. After the first couple of days, he eventually decided to get a bodyguard so he could go outside. It was driving him crazy to stay huddle up in the dorm all day. It had been hard at first leaving the dorm but the presence of the bodyguard made it easier. Hyunwoo also decided to visit his family for a few days and some friends that he had not seen in a long time.

What happened to him hadn’t been leaked to the press, everybody knew that he had been kidnapped and held captive for a month but nothing else. Hyunwoo was constantly checking his social media to make sure that it stayed that way. He didn’t know what he would do if all of what happened were made public. That was always troubling him but it wasn’t the worst.

The worst had been when he received a call from Officer Park telling him that he would have to go to court to testify against Mr. Wu. Hyunwoo knew that this was coming but the phone call was like a bombshell. The court date was set on the last Friday of his two weeks break. Hoseok had asked their manager to give him the day off to go with Hyunwoo which he was granted. The session was made private, no journalists were allowed inside and only the bare minimum court’s employees were present. Hyunwoo had refused that the other members came too, only his manager, his lawyer and Hoseok had been allowed inside the room. It was a very unpleasant day for Hyunwoo but he made it through and he really had Hoseok to thanks for that.

Finally, it was time to go back to practice. Hyunwoo felt ready, he needed to go back to being active, he needed something to get his mind off of things. When his alarm went off at 6 am, he couldn’t help but smile. Hoseok besides him just grunted and that made him laugh.

“Come on babe, don’t wanna be late for my first day back.” Hyunwoo said as he was getting up, shaking Hoseok lightly to prompt him to do the same.

“Urgh, how can you be so chipper at this hour? Plus, I feel like our dance instructor had it out for me lately, he is always on my ass, always watching and correcting every move I make! I mean, I’m sure Kihyun makes more mistakes than I do and he never seems to notice.”

“Hey, don’t criticize Kihyun’s dancing. Also, Alec has always been very exigent, that’s why he has been hired you know. I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Hyunwoo answered while getting dress.

“Noooooo,” Hoseok wailed while wrapping himself further in their blanket, “you’re supposed to defend me and say I’m right and that he’s being annoying and mean!” Hoseok finished with a pout on his lips.

Hyunwoo chuckled at his boyfriend’s antics, Hoseok could be so over dramatic sometimes, it was always fun to watch.

“Well, I’ll judge by myself today, now get up and get dress, you lazy munchkin.” Hyunwoo answered with a smile on his lips while throwing a shirt at Hoseok’s face.

Hoseok sighed but got up and finally started to dress up.

Forty-five minutes later and all Monsta X were gathered in the dance practice room, stretching while waiting for their instructor. It was usually Hyunwoo who led most of the dance practices, but with the present circumstances, Alec, their dance instructor, had been asked to assist every dance practice. They had a comeback planned just before Christmas and there was still a lot of work to do and Hyunwoo really needed to get up to speed with the others.

“Good morning guys! Hey Hyunwoo, good to have you back.” Their dance instructor greeted them cheerfully as he walked inside the room. “Okay, so Hyunwoo you had been watching videos of our latest dance practices while at home, right?” Alec asked.

“Yes, I think I memorized most of the choreographies, just need to practice with the whole group.”

“Perfect, then let’s get to it.”

The dance instructor plugged his phone and the dance practice began.

And Hyunwoo thought it went surprisingly well. Well, for the dancing part at least. Since he managed to memorize most of the dances ahead, it wasn’t that hard to caught up to the others. Everyone was there to help him, well, almost everyone. Alec, as Hoseok had said this morning, was constantly on Hoseok’s case. Always correcting the smallest mistakes, correcting his postures, his facial expressions, even tidying up his outfits sometimes. Hyunwoo couldn’t actually believe his eyes, Alec wasn’t just correcting every little mistakes Hoseok made, he was also, and most of all, always touching, brushing against Hoseok’s arms, legs and torso. Hoseok didn’t seem to notice or at least he didn’t say or did anything to stop it but at the end of the morning, Hyunwoo started seeing red. When Alec pressed his pelvis subtly against his boyfriend’s bottom while correcting for nth time one of Hoseok’s postures, Hyunwoo almost growled.

“I think it’s time for lunch, we’ll continue this afternoon.” Hyunwoo declared, lips forming a straight line on his face.

Changkyun just fell down on his ass, sighing in relief. Everybody seemed exhausted, so nobody protested. Alec seemed kind of surprise and maybe a little annoyed but didn’t say anything either.

During their lunchbreak, Hyunwoo couldn’t talk to Hoseok about Alec’s behaviour since the latter was also having lunch with them. They were all sitting on the floor of their practice room with Chinese take away in hands, Hoseok sitting between Jooheon and Alec. The three of them seem to be chatting happily, which made Hyunwoo frowned. Alec had always been getting along pretty well with the whole band, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary but Hyunwoo didn’t like seeing his boyfriend so carefree around Alec after what he witnessed earlier during practice. The behaviour from this morning was definitely new. 

Hyunwoo almost chocked on his fried rice when he saw Alec feeding Hoseok a bit of chicken with his chopsticks. What the hell? Hyunwoo clenched his fists tight and bit his tongue and just ate in almost utter silence, not really participating in any conversations. His mind was elsewhere, wondering and going to some very dark places. Has Alec been acting this way since he was gone? How Hoseok couldn’t notice what was going on? That his behaviour had nothing to with his duties as a dance instructor. Maybe Hoseok did notice, maybe he didn’t mind in the end. He was complaining this morning but maybe… maybe this was a tactic so Hyunwoo wouldn’t suspect anything. Wouldn’t suspect Hoseok cheating. Maybe during Hyunwoo’s captivity, Hoseok had found shelter in Alec’s arms and now he didn’t dare to dump Hyunwoo because he pitied him too much because of the traumatic experience he went through. Maybe Hoseok was truly disgusted by him. Maybe—

“Hyung, are you ok? Minhyuk asked with a frown on his face, “you seem upset, is everything alright?”

Hearing those words, Hoseok stopped his conversation with Jooheon and Alec to turn his head in his boyfriend direction. Hoseok frowned a little too at the look on Hyunwoo’s face but Hyunwoo reacted before he could say anything.

“I’m alright, just a little tired that’s all.” He answered with a fake smile. “I’m gonna get some air, I’ll be quick.”

Hyunwoo then stood up and quickly left their practice room. He went to the roof, hoping that Hoseok wouldn’t follow since he was scared of heights. But luck wasn’t on his side today.

Hyunwoo was leaning on the railing when he saw in the corner of his eye Hoseok’s form walking slowly towards him. When he reached him, Hoseok gripped the railing very hard and looked everywhere but at the ground below. Hyunwoo almost immediately regretted coming up there, he didn’t like seeing Hoseok like this but at the same time, he didn’t ask Hoseok to follow him, he really wanted to be left alone.

“You shouldn’t have come, I’m fine, I just needed some air.” Hyunwoo told Hoseok, not looking at him, but looking only at the horizon in front of him.

“You don’t look fine.” Hoseok said while pushing his back against the railing and therefore looking at the exact opposite direction of Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo sighed and shook his head.

“I… what’s going on with Alec?” Hyunwoo asked, not really knowing what to say, where to begin.

“Oh so you noticed too! I told you this morning he was being so fucking hard on me, I really don’t know why though.”

“Cut the crap, you know what I’m talking about.” Hyunwoo answered, lips tight and hands gripping the railing so hard that his knuckles turned white. Hoseok whipped his head so fast to look at Hyunwoo, shocked by what he had just heard.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You fucked him yet?” Hyunwoo was losing his grip on the situation, he didn’t mean for the conversation to go into that direction. He had planned to talk to Hoseok calmly tonight after practice. But now, having him here and seemingly totally unaware of what was happening under his nose made him so angry all of a sudden. Hyunwoo should have stopped talking, he really should have but he couldn’t.

“What? What the fuck are you saying? You think I cheated on you with Alec?” Hoseok asked, completely lost. Had he just gone into another dimension or something? What the hell was going on with Hyunwoo?

Hoseok seemed angry and that made Hyunwoo snap.

“Stop bullshitting me, I see how he touches you, watches you and you clearly don’t seem to mind. Has he been keeping your bed warm while I was being fucked opened by some sick assholes? Or maybe it started before I got kidnap? My ass wasn’t good enough for you, huh? God, I didn’t think you could be such a slut.” Hyunwoo answered, furious but cold and obviously hurt. “Well, fuck you Hoseok, I don’t need your pity, if you wanna leave me, just dump me already.” Hyunwoo finished, voice as cold as ice, weirdly calm and steady.

Hoseok took a step back, like he had been physically punched by his boyfriend. His eyes wide and lost, looking at Hyunwoo’s cold face like he was looking at a madman. He didn’t know words could hurt like that.

“Hyunwoo, I… I don’t know how you came to that conclusion, I really don’t but what you’re saying is complete nonsense. I’ve never even looked at another man since we’ve been together, I would never ever cheat on you and I really thought you knew that. When you were gone, I was such a mess, I couldn’t sleep nor eat, Kihyun and Minhyuk had to force me to eat something so I didn’t starve. Each time I closed my eyes, I had nightmares so I slept as little as possible. When I managed to sleep, it was most of the time in a chair in the lobby of the police station, waiting to hear news about your case. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and I’m so sorry that this happened to you, babe, but you can’t talk to me like that. Never.” Hoseok took a deep breath, trying to stop his tears from falling. “It has always been you and it always will be, I really thought you knew that.” Hoseok finished with a sob.

Hyunwoo stood there, frozen. Hoseok was shaking lightly in front of him, he was trying to suppress his sobs but he failed miserably. He kept on brushing his face with his sleeve to dry his tears. The sight was heart-breaking and it made Hyunwoo realized just what he had said to his lover. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he really fucked up this time.

“Hoseok, I’m—I’m sorry! I —” Hyunwoo tried to take a step forward, to grab Hoseok’s hand but the latter pulled back. That hurt. “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it, I just—”

“You just what, Hyunwoo?” Hoseok snapped, the tears had finally died down and he was looking so angry now. Hyunwoo had never talked to him that way, never. He took a sharp inhaled and continued. “I love you Hyunwoo, I really do but I won’t let you treat me this way. If you’re hurting, talk to me, I’m here, but you can’t take it out on me like that.” And with that, Hoseok left the rooftop, leaving behind him a stoned Hyunwoo, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to tell me what you think in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait, life got really busy but the 5th chapter is finally here !   
Unfortunately, I won't be posting the next chapter very soon either BUT this fic will not be discontinuated I promise, I already have the ending in mind, I just need to find time to write. I won't blame you if you skip this story for now and come back when it's done ;)   
Anyway, for those still here, enjoy the new chap and don't hesitate to tell me what you think in the comments!
> 
> Ps: not a law expert, so I might have made some stuff up, just go with it !

“Hoseok, please, can we talk?”

“No, not really. I’m exhausted Hyunwoo, I just wanna go to sleep right now.” Hoseok answered without even turning around to look at his boyfriend.

They just got back from practice and everyone was scurrying to their own rooms to get some much needed sleep. Hoseok had one hand on the door handle of his and Hyunwoo’s room and instead of pushing the door open, he stopped and turned around, finally facing his boyfriend and locking eyes with him.

“I think I’m gonna ask Kihyun to switch rooms for tonight.” Hoseok said, dropping his head, not able to hold Hyunwoo’s sad stare anymore.

“No, please, no, I’m so so sorr—”

“Just for tonight, Hyunwoo. I just—I just need some space right now, you’ll be ok with Kihyun just for a night.”

Hoseok knew that Kihyun was the member Hyunwoo was the closest to after himself. They had been best friends since training days, which occasionally used to make Hoseok pretty jealous of the lead vocalist, but not anymore. Hoseok knew that Kihyun could be here for his lover when right now, he couldn’t.

“Goodnight, Hyunwoo, we’ll talk tomorrow, try to rest.” And with that, Hoseok turned around and went in the direction of the room Kihyun shared with Minhyuk and Hyungwon. Hyuwoo sighed miserably and got inside his room, biting his lips furiously to stop himself from crying again.

Today couldn’t have been worst Hyunwoo thought, as he groaned and fell face first into his bed. He buried his head in his pillow while remembering this awful first day back on schedule.

After their huge fight on the roof, Hyunwoo had tried to talk to Hoseok before their lunch break ended but to no avail. After Hoseok left the rooftop, Hyunwoo had followed after him quickly but not quickly enough to catch up with him before he got back inside the practice room. Hyunwoo had tried to catch Hoseok’s attention once inside the room but the younger was just flatly ignoring him, which Hyunwoo could understand. He had been such a jerk. Fuck, how could he say that to the man he loved the most on this earth?

The rest of practice seemed to go on excruciatingly slow for Hyunwoo, he was just itching to get out of here to be able to talk to Hoseok. He really needed to apologize and make things right between them, he couldn’t stand the thought of Hoseok being angry with him. When practice ended, Hoseok didn’t let Hyunwoo any chance to approach him. As soon as it ended, he hurried to the locker room to get inside the showers as quick as possible and then made sure to never be alone while changing, always chatting seemingly happily with Hyungwon and Kihyun while Hyunwoo just stared at them from across the room. When it was time to get into the van and go home, Hoseok chose to sit in the back, squished between the window and Changkyun, with his headphones on. Hyunwoo let out a sad sigh and climbed in the front seat, next to the driver, also putting his own headphones on.

When they had arrived at the dorm, Hyunwoo had tried again to talk to his boyfriend but still failed, which was why he looked like a real mess on his own bed right now, with his head buried in his pillow, his hair sticking out and his fists clenching the sheets till his knuckles turned white.

When Hyunwoo heard the bedroom door opened, he turned around so quick he almost gave himself whiplash.

“Oh, it’s you…” Hyunwo said, disappointed when he saw Kihyun at the door. He really thought that Hoseok would come back so they could talk before going to bed. He hated going to sleep knowing his boyfriend was mad at him.

“Jeez, thanks, I’m also so glad to be sleeping in your room tonight.” Kihyun answered, sarcasm evident in his voice but a small friendly smile on his lips. Hoseok didn’t tell him exactly what happened between them, but the younger must be pretty hurt if he asked him to switch rooms for the night.

“Sorry, Ki, it’s not against you, I just—”

“Yeah, I get it, don’t worry.” Kihyun answered before Hyunwoo could explain himself further. “Anyway, I’m here if you need someone to talk to, you know that, right?” Kihyun asked, while sitting on Hoseok’s bed, already dressed in his pyjamas.

“Yeah, I know, thanks Ki.”

After that, Kihyun slipped under the covers of his bed for the night while Hyunwoo got up to also put on his pyjamas. Once he was ready for sleep, he got underneath his own blankets and switched off the lights.

“Goodnight hyung, try to rest, tomorrow will be better, you’ll see.” Kihyun whispered in the darkness of their room.

“Goodnight Ki.” Hyunwoo answered, thinking that tomorrow couldn’t be worse than today anyway.

In a matter of minutes, Kihyun was asleep, completely drained with the day they had. However, it wasn’t exactly the same scenario for Hyunwoo. He kept tossing around in his bed, not finding any comfortable position. His mind kept replaying the events of the day, not letting him rest at all. He finally let out a loud frustrated sigh before curling up on his side to face the wall. He needed to talk to Hoseok, he needed to see him. He was pretty sure Hoseok wasn’t doing any better in the other room. Maybe if he were to go talk to him right now, Hoseok wouldn’t have any other choice than following him into the living room as to not wake up the others and then they could talk.

Maybe this could work, Hyunwoo thought as he got out of bed.

Seconds later, Hyunwoo was tiptoeing to the bedroom’s door as silently as possible when Kihyun made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Don’t do it. Don’t go see him. Give him some time. You can’t force this discussion on him right now.” Kihyun said, voice low but firm.

Hyunwoo huffed but turned around, trying to look at Kihyun’s face in their darken room. He thought about denying the accusation at first, pretending he was just going to the restroom, but then gave up, he didn’t want to argue with Kihyun right now.

“I—I can’t sleep and I’m sure he can’t either. We need to talk.”

“You’ll talk tomorrow, right now, what you really need is sleep.”

“I already told you I can’t sleep Ki.” Hyunwoo groaned, clearly annoyed right now.

“Well, then…” Kihyun pretended to think for a minute. “Maybe… Maybe I can make us hot cocoas and get some snacks and we can fall asleep in front of The Simpson like we used to.” Kihyun offered, a light smile playing on his lips.

Hyunwoo couldn’t help but smile at that. That was what they used to do during training days, after a particularly bad day. Kihyun used to sneak up into Hyunwoo’s bed with two fuming mugs while Hyunwoo would be setting up his laptop on his laps, looking for a new episode. Most of the time, they didn’t make it through even one episode, too tired, but it was still one of his best memories from his training days.

“Yeah, ok, maybe that could make me feel a tiny bit better.” Hyunwoo answered mirroring Kihyun small smile.

“Ok, big guy, then go grab some snacks, I’ll make the hot chocolates.” Kihyun said energetically, bouncing out of bed like he wasn’t extremely tired after the day they had. Hyunwoo stopped for a second and thought: it might be a little selfish to ask Kihyun to stay up just because he was broken hearted.

“But, you’re sure you’re not too tired? I mean we don’t have to, we have to wake up early tomorrow and—”

“Did that use to stop us when we were trainees?” Kihyun smirked.

“No, but still—”

“Then it’s settled, we are doing it.” Kihyun concluded and left to go to the kitchen. Hyunwoo smiled a little wider at that, he really did have the best of friends.

Moments later and they were both huddled up in Hyunwoo’s bed, pillows propped up behind their backs, laptop perched on their knees, fuming mugs in one hand, and Oreos in another. The episode was funny enough it managed to take Hyunwoo’s mind off things for a moment. Also, having the warmth of Kihyun’s body pressed against him was soothing. Midway through the first episode, Hyunwoo felt Kihyun’s head fall down gently on his shoulder and heard light snores coming from the younger. Hyunwoo smiled a little, it was exactly like training days. Hyunwoo took Kihyun’s empty mug from his hands and put it on his nightstand, he then did the same with the snacks and his own cup before shutting off his laptop and dropping it gently on the ground without waking up his best friend.

Hyunwoo stayed prop up against his pillow for a bit, not wanting to wake up Kihyun just yet. After training days ended, Kihyun and him almost stopped completely their little “TV show watching in bed at night” sessions, too busy with everything going on in their lives. Hyunwoo didn’t even realize he missed it until now. Hyunwoo sighed. Now that he didn't have anything to keep his mind busy, he was inevitably thinking of his lover sleeping in the next room. He didn't even notice he was crying until he felt a hot tear running down his neck.

"Hyung, you're ok?"

"Oh Ki, you're awake, sorry didn't mean to wake you up." Hyunwoo said, turning his head to try to hide his tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"It's ok, it's nothing, just thinking about... Stuffs." Hyunwoo answered, not fooling anyone. Kihyun sighed.

"It's gonna get better, hyung, don't worry, Hoseok and you always work through your issues. He loves you so much, whatever happened, it'll pass, you'll see." Kihyun told him while hugging him, trying to make him feel better.

"I don't know, Ki. I-- I was really awful to him, I said some really nasty things to him whereas he has only been loving and supporting since I came back. I don't deserve him, fuck, Ki, I really don't."

"We all mess up sometimes, hyung. It happens, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve him. I know you love him more than anything and I see, well everybody sees actually, how you take care of him, how you do everything in your power to make him happy, how you always put him first."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been doing a lot of that lately." Hyunwoo said, looking totally dejected.

"Well, circumstances have been different lately, I think we can cut you some slacks."

"But—"

"But of course, that doesn't mean you should have said what you said, that doesn't excuse what happened but still, you're not an awful boyfriend, far from it. You guys just need to talk and clear everything up. Whatever you did or said, I'm sure it can be fixed."

Hyunwoo didn't say anything more, just held on Kihyun's pyjamas a little harder, pyjamas he didn't even notice he was clinging on to begin with.

"Would you mind staying in my bed tonight? I think I need to be cuddled to sleep." Hyunwoo asked, with a fake pout on his face and perfect puppy eyes.

Kihyun laughed at the sight and slapped Hyunwoo's chest playfully.

"Mmm, ok, you big baby, just remember I'm not Hoseok so don't start humping me in your sleep or I'll throw you out of your own bed."

It was Hyunwoo turn to laugh now before he flicked the younger on his forehead.

"You have such a bad mouth Ki."

"I know." Kihyun answered with a smirk while making himself comfortable in Hyunwoo's bed. " Good night, hyung, sweet dreams."

"Good night, Kihyun."

Minutes later, both of them were asleep, a little smile playing on each of their face.

\----

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 1, 2, 3— Come on Hyunwoo, we’ve been at it for hours, I already told you a hundredth times you should go to your left and move your right arm.” Their dance instructor said, exasperated.

“Yeah, I—I’m sorry, let’s keep going, I’ll get it right next time.”

“That’s what you said the time before and before that and—” But Alec was cut short in his rant by Kihyun’s sharp tongue.

“I’ll help him get through this part later, let’s just keep going.”

Alec sighed and shook his head but still went on with the practice. Hyunwoo throw a small smile in Kihyun’s way, mouthing a “thank you” which Kihyun responded to with a little nod.

Finally, lunch time came and all of Monsta X could relax a little. Hyunwoo still haven’t had time to talk to Hoseok so he was really looking forward to this break to have some time alone with his boyfriend. Sleeping with Kihyun last night was nice but he really wished he could have his lover back into his arms tonight. He wasn’t dealing well with the situation at all and he really needed to apologize and to talk to Hoseok. But unfortunately, luck still wasn’t on his side. Just when Hyunwoo was going to ask to talk to Hoseok in private, their manager came into the room, acknowledging only Hyunwoo.

“Hyunwoo, come with me please, and take your stuffs, you won’t be going back to practice this afternoon.”

“Oh, but I—” Hyunwoo looked at his manager with a confused look on his face but the latter just told him to hurry and that he will explain on the way. Hyunwoo sighed and nodded, before taking his things and saying goodbye to his members.

Once outside the room, Hyunwoo tried to question his manager but still to no avail. His manager just told him to go take a quick shower and then to meet him in the lobby. Hyunwoo did just that, starting to get a little anxious at the situation. When he was done, he met his manager in the lobby like intended and then they both got inside a black car that was waiting for them outside.

“Where are we going?” Hyunwoo asked, very intrigued by the situation.

“I got a call from Officer Park, he asked to see you. He has some news about your case.”

“Oh… I see.” Hyunwoo was suddenly very silent. He didn’t have a good feeling about this.

A few moments later, they arrived at the police station. Hyunwoo got out of the car on shaky legs, getting a little more anxious as he walked closer to the police station. Once inside, Officer Park came to greet them quickly. He then spoke directly to Hyunwoo.

“Thanks for coming. I know you are very busy but I’d rather tell you about your case face to face. Please, follow me.” When Hyunwoo and his manager started to follow him, Officer Park spoke again. “I think it’s better if I talk to Hyunwoo alone first.” Hyunwoo swallowed forcefully, he really had a bad feeling about this. The manager just nodded and told Hyunwoo that he will wait for him in the lobby.

Officer Park guided Hyunwoo into a small interrogation room which only made him stress even more.

“Ok, Hyunwoo, so I’m not gonna beat around the bush. You know that after your court hearing, the judge needed some time to rule on your case. Today the judge finally rendered his verdict and I’m sorry to tell you that Mr. Wu was found not guilty.”

“I…I…I’m sorry, what?” Hyunwoo asked dumbly. When he talked with his lawyer, the latter told him that he had nothing to worry about and that his case was almost already won. Mr. Wu had admitted during his time at the station his kidnapping and with all the lewd implied comments that he made, it was almost impossible for him to not be found guilty. That’s also why Hyunwoo chose to not participate to the last court session that he just learned took place this morning. He knew that the court session would take place sometime this week but he didn’t know exactly when since his attendance was not mandatory. The judge was just going to pronounce his verdict and Hyunwoo just wanted to put everything behind him and didn’t feel like he needed to hear the judge say it to be able to do so. However, he knew for a fact that he didn’t want to see Mr. Wu ever again so not going to the last day of trial seemed a really good idea to him. Plus, he really thought his case was already won.

“I… I don’t understand, I thought we had everything we needed to put him jail for a very long time.” Hyunwoo said, still dumfounded and shook. His hands on the table started to shake a little so he hastily put them on his knees under the table.

“Mr. Wu changed his version of the story and got the best lawyer in the country. Also, we didn’t find his DNA on you, only of some other men that we still haven’t found. In the end, we didn’t have enough evidence against him.” Officer Park told him, voice low and stern.

Hyunwoo didn’t talk for a minute, his mind was racing and he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. That couldn’t be happening, this was one of his worst nightmares. This asshole couldn’t be let loose like that. He needed to find something.

“What if we found some more evidence? Hyunwoo asked, not looking directly at Officer Park.

“That could work, but we would need some really incriminating materials Hyunwoo and we already searched his house and different properties of his and we found nothing.”

“He has a mini USB key hidden in his watch, the watch that he never takes off. I… I think you can find some… stuffs on it.” Hyunwoo finished in a whisper.

“What kind of stuffs, Hyunwoo?” Officer Park asked, voice gentle.

Hyunwoo stiffen a little bit more. He started to chew on his bottom lip nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the subject of the conversation. He took a deep breath and finally answered.

“Videos of him… Doing things to me. And maybe some of his men.”

“Oh! I see… Well, thank you for telling me, we gonna look into it but why didn’t you tell us about it sooner? That’s some major evidence, Hyunwoo. That could also help us find your other aggressors.” Officer Park said, voice reprimanding.

Hyunwoo flinched a little at the tone but answered quickly.

“I thought you didn’t need any more proof, I… I didn’t want anyone knowing about those videos. It’s… It’s very humiliating.” Hyunwoo said and bit his lips to suppress a sob. Talking about that was really painful and he so wished Hoseok was here with him.

“Well, I understand Hyunwoo but you still should have told us about it. For now, we’ll ask to examine Mr. Wu watch and we’ll let you know.”

Hyunwoo nodded and Officer Park walked him back to the lobby where his manager was still waiting for him.

“I’m gonna head back to the dorm, I’ll let Officer Park update you on the situation.” And without letting anytime to his manager to protest, Hyunwoo was outside the police station, already climbing back into the black car that brought them here.

Moments later, the car parked in front of the dorm and Hyunwoo got inside quickly, not before thanking his driver. Once in the dorm, Hyunwoo made a beeline to his bedroom and was about to throw himself on his bed when he noticed a presence in the room, more exactly somebody sitting on his boyfriend’s bed.

“Hoseok? What are you doing here? Is practice already over?” Hyunwoo asked, while sitting slowly on his own bed, facing his lover. Hoseok looked at him for a minute, just staring intensely before he answered.

“No, practice is not over yet but even if you were a massive jerk to me yesterday, I still had to get back to the dorms to be there for you. I kinda sensed that you wouldn’t get any good news this afternoon, was I right?” Hoseok asked, looking genuinely worried now.

Hyunwoo bit his lips and nodded, but before Hoseok could say anything else, he started talking.

“Yeah, I didn’t get any good news but before we get into that, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. What I said was completely out of line and totally uncalled for. I really didn’t mean it, I was so stupid. I just was so angry and scared. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and I’m so sorry I hurt you. I really hope you’ll forgive me, I’m sincerely sorry, like I haven’t been that sorry in my life ever, I think.”

Hoseok chuckled a little bit at the last part of Hyunwoo’s tirade. He then stood up to come sit down next to Hyunwoo.

“Yeah, you were so stupid to ever think that I would want anyone else but you, ever. I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it but still, being called a slut really doesn’t feel nice, just so you know.”

Hyunwoo winced a little at that but before he could apologize again, Hoseok continued talking.

“And I also wanted to apologize because you were right on some levels. I talked to Alec today. During lunch break, I thought he was acting very clingy and I remembered what you said and it turned out he was indeed into me.” Hyunwoo looked at Hoseok with big round eyes and it was almost comical but Hoseok kept going. “I told him I didn’t feel the same way at all and that our relationship should stay strictly professional and I think he understood, so you have nothing to worry about, he’s not about to steal your man.” Hoseok finished in a playful tone, while poking Hyunwoo’s ribs.

Hyunwoo smiled a little at that and dropped his head on Hoseok shoulder, letting out a tired sigh.

“What happened this afternoon, babe? What did the manager want?” Hoseok asked, stroking Hyunwoo’s hair lightly. Hyunwoo leaned in into the touch, letting out a small content noise. He really didn’t want to talk about that now, but he knew Hoseok was worried so he told him what happened anyway. He felt Hoseok’s hand twitched and his breath stopped when he told him about the videos but Hyunwoo pretended he didn’t notice and kept going, and when he was done, he felt Hoseok’s lips kissing his hair lightly.

“Thank you for telling me, baby. I’m here if you need anything, whatever you need, I’m here, ok?” Hoseok hugged him tight, burying his head in Hyunwoo’s neck. Hyunwoo put his arms around his boyfriend’s torso and hugged him back even tighter, his lips grazing lightly the smooth skin of his lover’s neck. He closed his eyes, savouring the moment.

“There might be something I need right now.” Hyunwoo said, a smirk playing on his lips, now peppering Hoseok’s neck with small kisses. Hoseok let out a small moan that he tried to bite down unsuccessfully. Hyunwoo kept tracing the column of the younger’s neck, going up, up, up until he finally kissed him fully on the lips. Hoseok responded happily to the kiss, letting Hyunwoo take control which the older did gladly, exploring Hoseok’s warm cavern with his tongue, deeply and passionately. Hoseok’s hands came up to grip the hair on his lover’s nape, moaning lowly into the kiss. When Hyunwoo finally pulled back, Hoseok felt a little dizzy and warm all over. Hoseok was about to say something when Hyunwoo took off his shirt before climbing on his laps, both knees on the mattress, straddling the younger one. Hoseok instinctively brought his hands to Hyunwoo’s hips, his thumbs caressing slowly the smooth skin.

“Make love to me.” Hyunwoo whispered, dead serious, his eyes locked to Hoseok’s, his hands gripping his shoulders tightly. After the last time he completely freaked out, they didn’t try having sex again. Just cuddles and kisses but nothing more. But they talked about it, they set some ground rules like no sitting on Hyunwoo’s thighs or chest, no holding down his wrists, no hands in his hair during a blowjob and if Hyunwoo starting to feel even just a tiny bit anxious, he had to tell Hoseok, so they could slow down or stop completely. Hyunwoo didn’t dare to initiate anything until tonight, he felt unsure and was still a little scared of repeating the events of last time but right now, it just felt right.

“I’d love that, babe.” Hoseok finally answered, smiling gently, his thumbs still tracing small circles on his lover’s waist.

Hoseok was the first one to move, his lips capturing the older’s ones in a heated kiss. Hyunwoo’s hands slid up in his lover’s hair, gripping it firmly, his hips moving on their own on Hoseok’s laps. The older one was the first to break the kiss, just for a moment, just to take off Hoseok’s shirt. He threw the shirt somewhere in the room before diving back to his lover’s mouth, so eager they almost fell over. Hoseok giggled into the kiss, his hands roaming the expense of the other bare back before gripping his shoulders firmly and tilting them both so they were lying on the bed, the younger one on the mattress between his lover’s thighs. Hyunwoo sat back down on his lover’s waist, hips grinding to the other’s like they had a mind of their own, seeking more friction. Hoseok couldn’t help but moan quite loudly, very glad that the others were still at practice right now.

“So hot, babe, love your voice.” Hyunwoo whispered in his ear, biting it softly, before attacking his neck and sliding down his torso, paying particularly attention to his nipples, sucking and biting them softly till they were hard under his lips. Hoseok fisted the sheets, biting his lips to try and stay silent but failing miserably.

“Ah! Hyunwoo-ah! Babe, touch me, please! Ngh!”

“But I am touching you, love.” Hyunwoo answered, smirking against his lover’s skin. His lips tracing various patterns on the younger’s chest, Hyunwoo’s hands touching him everywhere except where he wanted him the most.

“Come on, stop teasing, please, please, please.” Hoseok begged, trashing his head against the pillow.

Hyunwoo looked up, admiring his lover’s face distorted with pleasure and lust. He smiled and decided to take pity on his boyfriend. After just a few more seconds of teasing, Hyunwoo finally deciding to stroke Hoseok’s length through his clothes. The friction made the younger hiss and buck into the touch, seeking more of the feeling. He was so hard it was almost painful, but in a good way. When Hyunwoo started to notice Hoseok’s breath coming faster and shorter, he stopped his ministrations, gaining a pitiful whine from the man underneath him. He chuckled at that and kissed his boyfriend’s pout away.

“You’re such a tease.” Hoseok complained between two kisses.

“And you love it.” The older one retorted, smirking against his boyfriend’s lips.

Hoseok huffed before switching their position, with Hyunwoo on the bed and Hoseok between his thighs.

“I wanna suck you off.” The younger one said bluntly making Hyunwoo almost choke on his own spit.

“Ah, ye—yeah, ok, ok, that works for me.” The older one eventually answered, biting his lips in anticipation.

Hoseok smiled slyly and didn’t waste any more time. He stripped Hyunwoo bare quickly, checking again everything was ok with him and then got to work straight away. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but shiver when he felt his lover’s mouth on him, and this time, it was the good kind of shivering. Hoseok started slowly at first, shifting between lapping the head like a lollipop and dropping small kisses on the length.

“Who’s the tease now?” Hyunwoo grumbled under his breath, trying to not buck his hips and choke his boyfriend.

Hoseok chuckled against his member and finally took him fully in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down slowly, flattening his tongue against the biggest vein on the underside. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but moan loudly, his hands flying to Hoseok’s hair, gripping not too tightly as to not hurt the younger.

“Babe, it’s so— ah! So go—good! You feel—ngh— so so good! I’m close.” Hyunwoo stuttered, overcome with pleasure, voice hazy and eyes shut tight.

Hearing those words made Hoseok work harder and faster, sucking relentlessly on his boyfriend’s very hard member, pulsating against his tongue. Hyunwoo was finally pushed over the edge when Hoseok managed to deepthroat him, making Hyunwoo scream and cum in his mouth, without a warning. Hoseok pulled off, coughing, cum all over his mouth and chin, looking like a huge mess.

“I’m sorry baby, didn’t mean to cum like that, it just felt so good.” Hyunwoo said, gripping his lover’s nape to bring him down for a kiss, not minding the mess at all. “Sorry.” He whispered again against Hoseok’s lips. Hoseok just smiled and kissed him again, smearing some more cum on Hyunwoo’s face, which made the latter laugh throatily before wiping his face on the sheets.

“I think I know how to make it up to you.” Hyunwoo declared after a few more kisses, his left hand looking for something in his bedside table. After some fumbling, he finally retrieved the lube he was looking for, handing it to Hoseok.

“Will you prep me?” He asked softly, sounding far too innocent for what he was asking. Hoseok just smiled wider before taking the lube and putting a large amount on his fingers.

“Remember, if anything doesn’t feel right, you stop me right away, ok babe?” Hoseok asked, his lubed up hand just centimetres away from Hyunwoo’s fluttering hole. Hyunwoo nodded quickly, took a deep breath and urged Hoseok to get going, which the latter complied to gladly.

Hyunwoo let out a small whimper when he felt his boyfriend’s finger on his rim, just rubbing slowly trying to get him to relax a little bit more. The feeling made him tense at first but then Hoseok’s sweet talk in his ear kept him grounded in the moment, blocking all the bad memories. After a few more minutes, Hyunwoo was relax enough so Hoseok could slip in one finger with ease.

“Mmm…” The older one moaned, squirming underneath his lover’s touch.

“Good?” Hoseok asked, moving his finger around slowly.

“Yeah, keep going, please.”

“Of course, love.” And Hoseok kissed him, continuing his ministrations, making Hyunwoo shudder and moan lowly. It was started to feel good, and that reminded him of all the numerous time they had done that before and the huge amount of pleasure that was about to come. Hoseok’s touch was so delicate, so precise, he knew exactly where to prob to make Hyunwoo feel amazing.

“I’m adding another one, babe.” Hoseok warned before doing just that.

The stretch made Hyunwoo hiss a little but Hoseok was quick to brush past his prostate making pleasure course through his boyfriend’s body. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but moan loudly this time, trashing on the bed, trying to suppress his moans in the pillow, while Hoseok just kept switching between rubbing his prostate and scissoring his fingers inside to stretch him.

“Let me hear you, babe. There’s nobody but us in the dorm, let go, love.” Hoseok whispered in his ear, sounding sweet but rough at the same time, he was breathing hard and fast, it seems Hyunwoo wasn’t the only one being affected by the situation.

“Ah! Hoseok! Mmmm! More, please!” Hyunwoo exclaimed between two loud cries, Hoseok could feel his hole clenching around his fingers and Hyunwoo trying to bear down on them. This was so hot, Hyunwoo was so beautifully sexy right now, trusting his boyfriend and letting go completely. Hoseok was fully hard in his jeans and he could feel his underwear getting soak with precum, he wanted to get inside that tight heat he felt around his fingers so badly, but he needed to wait, he wouldn’t rush Hyunwoo. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his boyfriend, he needed to remind him how good and beautiful sex can be and he was going to do just that.

“Ok, ok, I got you baby boy, I’m adding another one.” And Hyunwoo was moaning again, feeling so full and so good. His hands were fisting the sheets, his eyes were closed and his lips parted, letting out low groans or loud moans. He could feel his orgasm building up in his lower belly, he wouldn’t last long, Hoseok’s fingers were too good, he needed him inside right now.

“I’m ready, please, I need you, please.” Hyunwoo whine, thighs shaking with pleasure.

“Ok, love, just a minute.” Hoseok answered, taking his fingers out slowly and carefully but still earning a whine from his lover.

Hoseok got off the bed to strip quickly, hissing when the cold air hit his painfully hard member. He looked at Hyunwoo who was still on his back, playing lazily with himself. He was just perfect, Hoseok thought.

“Stop gawking and get inside me now.” Hyunwoo said, pouting cutely.

Hoseaok laughed as he got back on the bed, getting back between Hyunwoo’s legs. He draped his body on Hyunwoo’s, caging him a little but making sure he wasn’t feeling trap, just safe and secure. Face to face, lips only millimetres apart, eyes locked on each other.

“I love you, Hyunwoo. So much.” Hoseok said, caressing his cheek sweetly.

“I love you too.” Hyunwoo answered, putting his own hand on Hoseok’s on his cheek.

“It’s gonna hurt a little, stop me if it’s too much.” Hoseok said, sounding a little worried. Hyunwoo chuckled.

“I know, babe, I’m not a virgin, remember?” Hyunwoo said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Hoseok couldn’t help but giggle at his boyfriend’s antics, before going back to serious as he guided himself to Hyunwoo’s twitching entrance.

Both of them moaned when Hoseok entered the older one, slowly, making sure Hyunwoo was ok. When he bottomed out, Hoseok stopped moving, letting some time to Hyunwoo to adjust. He stroked Hyunwoo’s thighs soothingly, kissing them too to make him relax. Hyunwoo was so tight around him, even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to move right now.

“Are you ok, love? You—you’re like super tight.” Hoseok said between gritted teeth.

“Yeah, I’m good, it—it’s just been a while and— and you’re a lot bigger than three fingers.” Hyunwoo said, eyes closed but lips curving into a small smile. Hoseok giggled again and intertwined their fingers, still kissing Hyunwoo’s thighs, waiting for him to relax.

After a few more minutes, Hoseok felt Hyunwoo move underneath him, and it was the only cue he needed. The younger one started thrusting his hips slowly but deeply, avoiding on purpose Hyunwoo’s sweet spot or else this would be over way too soon. Hyunwoo was squirming again underneath him, moaning lowly, hands gripping his lover’s shoulders.

“Faster, babe, please.” Hyunwoo panted, hard and fast, feeling Hoseok brushing his sweet spot but never hitting it dead on. “Hoseok, come on, please.” Hyunwoo whined, loving and hating the teasing all at once. Hoseok bent over to kiss him passionately before quickening his pace, this time hitting his prostate spot on.

“Hoseok! Oh God! So—so good! Ah!” Hyunwoo couldn’t stop moaning now, not minding his voice at all, being as loud as he wanted.

“You feel so good, so warm and wet, so tight, ah! God, you’re perfect.” Hoseok exclaimed between moans. He had always been a little chatty during sex and Hyunwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t love it. He really liked hearing how good he made his boyfriend feels.

“I’m close, very close.” Hyunwoo panted, head thrown back, baring his neck to his lover who immediately started to kiss him roughly there, biting and licking, marking him.

“Hold on, I—together! I’m almost—ah!” Hoseok tried to say, going faster, chasing his own orgasm. It was almost too much for Hyunwoo, he felt some tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, the pleasure too intense.

“I—I can’t, I need—”

“Let go babe, come on, cum for me.” Hoseok asked, giving Hyunwoo’s length two fast strokes which made the older buck into the touch before he came hard and plenty in Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok felt his boyfriend tighten around him and that all it took to tip him over the edge. Hyunwoo let out a small moan when he felt his boyfriend’s release fill him, locking his legs behind Hoseok’s back to keep him from pulling out. Hoseok rested his head against Hyunwoo’s chest, coming down from his high slowly, like his boyfriend was. Hyunwoo threaded his fingers through his lover’s hair absentmindedly, a huge smile placated on his face. He felt just so happy right now, and safe, and loved.

After a while, Hyunwoo’s legs were starting to cramp so Hoseok pulled out, making Hyunwoo whimper.

“Don’t move, I’m gonna get something to clean us up.” Hoseok said, before hoping out of bed. He came back quickly with a wet washcloth and proceeded to clean up Hyunwoo gently, minding the sensitive areas between his thighs.

“Come here, now we cuddle.” Hyunwoo urged, making grabby hands at Hoseok who just laughed and threw the washcloth in the general area of the hamper before lying down with his boyfriend on the bed, spooning him and bringing the blanket over their naked bodies.

“It was perfect, Hoseok.” Hyunwoo whispered, eyes closed, feeling as light as a feather.

“It was indeed. Best make up sex ever.” Hoseok said, a smile evident in his voice. Hyunwoo chuckled at that before turning his head to drop a chaste kiss on his lover’s lips.

“Let’s take a little nap before the others come back.” Hyunwoo said while yawning in his pillow.

“Of course. Sleep tight love.” Hoseok answered before he kissed his lover’s nape lightly, drifting off to sleep quickly after.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone !   
Here a new chapter, I know it took some time but I warned you (but sorry anyway ahah) !  
Just wanted to warn you that the tags have changed, so just to be safe, read them again (it might be kind of spoiler-y though but better safe than sorry ).   
Anyway, enjoy and don't hesitate to tell me what you think :)

“Now, bottoms up!” Changkyun exclaimed before he downed his own shot of vodka in one quick gulp.

Hyunwoo chuckled lightly before doing exactly the same, quickly followed by all the other members. They were all gathered up in the living room of their dorm, lounging on the sofa with drinks in hands, laughing and talking loudly, with pop music playing in the background. They were celebrating. Today, Hyunwoo’s attackers had all been identified and put behind bars for a very very very long time, all thanks to the evidence the police found on Mr. Wu’s watch.

Hyunwoo couldn’t stop smiling tonight, sure the alcohol played a role in his happiness but the fact that his aggressors had all been caught and thrown into jail made him feel so much lighter. He felt relieved and safer like he hasn’t felt in months.

“You shouldn’t drink that fast ‘Kyun, you’re gonna throw up soon at this rate.” Kihyun chastised the youngest when the latter took another shot.

“I’m not a lightweight like you, hyung.” Changkyun answered with a smirk before downing another shot.

“You brat.” Kihyun mumbled, shooting a dark glare in Changkyun’s direction, which the latter ignored totally.

Hyunwoo laughed at the scene which earned him a light slap on the arm from Kihyun.

“Sorry Ki, but you’re kind of a lightweight.” Hyunwoo said, giggling dumbly at the offended look the younger threw him.

“Seokiiiie, your boyfriend is so mean to me, you should punish him!” Kihyun whined while gripping Hoseok’s arm to get him to stop his conversation with Jooheon and help him against their big old mean leader. When Hoseok turned around, he threw a quick look at Hyunwoo who was still giggling, his eyes crinkling beautifully, cheeks slightly pink from the alcohol, lips moist and shiny.

“Mmmm, should I?” Hoseok asked, smirking and fixing Hyunwoo intensely, which made the elder’s cheeks go even redder.

“Oh my god, you two are unbearable!” Kihyun exclaimed before standing up and stomping (cutely) to the kitchen.

Hoseok laughed before sliding next to his boyfriend on the couch, dropping a chaste kiss on his lips but sneaking a hand under his shirt to stroke his abs lightly. The younger didn’t miss the whole-body shiver that took his lover and the way his abs tighten under his touch.

“What do you say we take this party elsewhere, babe?” Hoseok asked, still smirking and devouring Hyunwoo’s lips with his eyes.

“We can’t, they’re gonna notice we’re gone.” Hyunwoo answered, trying to be reasonable. They couldn’t just go have sex in the middle of their party. No way. But it was really tempting.

“So what? We won’t even have to be that quiet with the music and you know how I love hearing your voice.” Hoseok purred, dropping small kisses on his lover’s neck now. Hyunwoo moaned softly, the words and the kisses being too much for him. He looked around quickly, nobody was paying them any attention, all of them too absorbed in drinking or talking loudly to one another. Hyunwoo bit his lips and melted a little more in the sofa under his boyfriend’s ministrations, trying not to whimper too loudly when he felt the younger’s tongue drawing patterns on his neck. Well, maybe nobody would miss them for a while.

All of sudden, Hyunwoo stood up, making Hoseok loose his balance on the couch but Hyunwoo quickly gripped his wrist and dragged him to their bedroom, shutting the door and slamming him against it. Hoseok didn’t waste any time and captured the older’s lips in a heated kiss, all tongues and teeth, hands roaming all over their bodies, trying to touch the other as much as possible.

“Off. Take this off.” Hyunwoo murmured against Hoseok’s lips, tugging at the hem of his lover’s t-shirt.

Hoseok complied quickly, throwing his shirt somewhere in the room that was quickly followed by his pants and underwear. Hyunwoo almost groaned at the sight, dropping to his knees instantly. He started by kissing Hoseok’s lower belly slowly, not paying any attention to his boyfriend’s pulsing member, caressing his hips gently.

“Baby, please…” Hoseok begged, his hands stroking his lover’s neck smoothly, not applying any pressure.

Hyunwoo looked up, locking eyes with his boyfriend while his lips languidly closed around the head of his engorged member. Hyunwoo wasn’t breaking the eyes contact and started to suck him off slowly, putting on a show for the younger one. Hoseok had to use all his self-control to not cum in this instant. The sight was just multiplying tenfold the sensations, it was almost too much. One of Hoseok’s hands came to stroke his lover’s cheek lovingly, which made the older one moan lowly around his length and suck harder. Hoseok had to bite his lips ferociously to stop himself from cumming too soon.

“You’re too good to me… God, I love you.” Hoseok whispered, finally breaking eyes contact to throw his head back when Hyunwoo started to speed up his rhythm, using his hands to cover what his mouth couldn’t take in.

A few moments later and Hoseok was cumming down his lover’s throat, the latter not wanting to pull away. Hyunwoo made sure to leak him clean thoroughly, teasing the younger one in the process. Hoseok eventually grabbed Hyunwoo’s biceps to get him up and kiss him hard, tasting himself of the other’s tongue.

“Get on the bed, baby.” Hoseok whispered against Hyunwoo’s lips. “And get naked, please.” The younger one added, stroking his lover’s sides underneath his shirt.

Hyunwoo didn’t need to be told twice, he scurried to the bed, dropping his butt on the covers before he started to undress, making sure Hoseok was watching his every move. Once he was completely nude, Hyunwoo looked up and threw Hoseok a lust-filled gaze, biting his lips before turning around to get on all fours in the middle of the small bed, head down, bracing himself on his forearms, thighs shaking lightly in anticipation.

Hyunwoo heard Hoseok cursed loudly behind him and seconds later he felt hands on his hips and Hoseok’s chest leaning against his back, the younger’s forehead resting at the base of his neck.

“So perfect…” Hoseok mumbled against Hyunwoo’s skin, dropping kisses along his spine until his lips reached his fluttering hole, already clenching around thin air. Hoseok blew hot air teasingly, making Hyunwoo shiver and whine in his pillow.

“Please, don’t tease.” Hyunwoo said, sounding very needy all of a sudden.

“But you know I love teasing you.” Hoseok answered, kissing the bottom of his lover’s spine lightly. Hyunwoo just groaned and arched his back even more, putting his bottom on display for his boyfriend.

“Not tonight, please, I need you.” Hyunwoo eventually whispered, hopping Hoseok wouldn’t notice how desperate he was.

Hoseok just chuckled lightly before putting his hands on his lover’s butt cheeks and spreading them, revealing again his puckering hole. Hyunwoo could feel his cheeks heat up and he was about to say something about the situation being embarrassing when he felt Hoseok’s lips on his quivering hole, rendering him speechless. Hyunwoo could feel his lover’s tongue lapping at his entrance gently, probing to loosen him up a bit, it was too good. He heard more than saw Hoseok looking for the lube blindly in his bedside table, his mouth not letting go of his ass. Seconds later, he felt slick fingers massaging his rim slowly while his lover’s tongue was still working him open. It felt so messy and wet and Hyunwoo was loving it.

“More, babe, please, please.” Hyunwoo begged, not minding at all his neediness anymore.

Hyunwoo could feel Hoseok smirked against his skin before he felt one finger entering him, quickly follow by a second one, scissoring him gently. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but moan loudly, trying to muffle the sound in his pillow but failing miserably. Hoseok’s tongue was still working wonder on his hole and the fingers inside him wouldn’t stop pressing and massaging his prostate which was at the same time too much but not enough. Hyunwoo squirmed and whined, thighs shaking, Hoseok could feel his hole fluttering, tightening around his fingers and tongue. His lover was a mess and he loved it. He decided to add another finger, making sure to aim directly at his lover’s sweet spot. But it was too much for Hyunwoo, he didn’t want to cum before Hoseok got inside of him. He could feel tears welling up behind his eyelids, he was starting to get overwhelm by the situation.

“Babe, ah! Ngh, st—stop, please, I—" A sob interrupted his already broken sentence and that made Hoseok look up faster than the speed of light. “Too good, too m—much, didn’t want to c—cum just yet.” Hyunwoo finished, sobbing softly in his pillow.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s ok, I got you, you’re ok.” Hoseok whispered soothingly, taking his fingers out slowly which still earned him a cute whine from the older, before taking his lover between his arms, spooning him perfectly. Hoseok dropped small kisses on his shoulders and at the base of his nape, caressing his abs slowly, trying to get him a little less worked up. It already happened before, Hyunwoo getting overwhelmed during sex, nothing to be scared of but Hoseok knew the older one didn’t like the feeling very much and he just needed to calm him down a little. Hoseok actually found it endearing and it didn’t put him off at all like the other one thought the first time it happened.

“Could we do it like this?” Hyunwoo eventually whispered. “We fit so perfectly like this…” Hyunwoo said again, pressing his hips back on Hoseok’s crotch.

“Anything you want, baby.” Hoseok answered, before lifting one on his lover’s legs and parting his cheeks once again. “I’m just gonna prep you some more, no teasing I promise.” Hoseok warned, inserting his fingers back inside the other slowly, stretching him as best as he could. Hyunwoo was shivering and moaning again, one hand under his pillow and the other one buried in Hoseok’s hair.

“I’m ready, I’m ready, please.” Hyunwoo said while turning his head to capture his lover’s lips in a sweet kiss. Hoseok kissed him slowly but deeply for a few moments before turning around to grab the lube again, making sure to be all slick to not hurt his babyboy.

“Mmmm, God, so hot, so wet, so tight, you’re perfect baby.” Hoseok said when entering his boyfriend, always the chatty one during sex.

Hyunwoo just smiled and grabbed the hand that was resting on his hips, interlacing their fingers. Hoseok started to move quickly, Hyunwoo loose enough as it is, the pressure already building slowly but steadily in his lower belly. Hoseok kept thrusting quickly and deeply inside his lover’s body, hitting the other’s prostate dead on each time. Hyunwoo could feel his member leaking precum, his lower belly now glistening. He wouldn’t last long and judging by the short hard breaths he felt right on his ear, he could tell that his boyfriend was close too.

“Almost there.” Hoseok mumbled against his shoulder. “Cum with me, babe.” And with that, Hoseok took his lover’s length in hand to stroke him in sync with his thrusts.

“Oh God, yes, yes, yes.” Hyunwoo started to babble, trashing his head on his pillow before turning to kiss his lover as he came hard in the younger’s hand, Hoseok following soon enough, the tightness and the heat around his member too much to handle. Hyunwoo could feel his lover’s release inside him and dripping between his thighs and he not so secretly loved it. Something about being claimed, he thought. He let out a happy sigh, nesting more comfortably against his boyfriend’s chest, not letting him pull out.

“Stay like this for a moment, would you?” Hyunwoo asked, eyes already closing, exhaustion taking over.

“Anything you want, babe.” Hoseok said for the second time tonight, dropping a tender kiss on Hyunwoo’s cheek. Hyunwoo fell asleep quickly after, but Hoseok still stayed nestled inside him, knowing that his boyfriend loved that feeling. Something about being claimed, he thought.

After a few more moments, Hoseok finally pulled out, the position starting to get uncomfortable. Hyunwoo didn’t even wake up, he just let out a cute little whine that made the other smile. They could clean up tomorrow, they didn’t have a schedule in the morning, for now, Hoseok just wanted to cuddle his babyboy all night long and never let go.

<strike>\----------</strike>

“Ugh! Your phone babe, shut it off please!” Hyunwoo groaned, half asleep.

“Sorry ‘Woo, go back to sleep, I’ll turn it off.” Hoseok answered, reaching over to grab his phone on the nightstand. Hoseok looked at the time on his phone, it was almost 5am. He smiled, they still had plenty of hours of sleep left. He was about to put his phone on silent mode and go back to sleep when a notification on his lock screen caught his eyes. When he read the whole title of the notification, his blood froze. Monsta X had been tagged on a YouTube video, a YouTube video named “LEAKED: SHOWNU MONSTA X HAS SEX WITH 2 DIFFERENT MEN”. Hoseok’s breath stopped, his heartbeat went wild. He eventually clicked on the notification with shaky fingers, desperately hopping this was an oax, but he had a very bad feeling about this.

The video started and Hoseok immediately recognized the small and dirty bedroom in which he found Hyunwoo in a little more than a month ago. The room was empty, the camera was facing the bed but nothing was happening yet. A few seconds later and you could hear the lock of the door being opened, then two persons walked in the room, one of them being Hyunwoo. He seemed totally out of it, like he had been drugged or something. He could barely walk, the other guy had to almost carry him to the bed. The unknown man threw Hyunwoo on the bed without much caution and then turned around to smile at the camera. Hoseok’s heart was beating so fast, his palms started to sweat and his eyes became moist. This couldn’t be true, that couldn’t be happening, it was all a dream, a nightmare, he wasn’t about to witness his Hyunwoo being raped on video.

The video kept going and now the man was straddling his boyfriend and was starting to undress him, very slowly, clearly making a show out of it. Hyunwoo seemed to be trying to push him away but Hoseok couldn’t really tell with the way it was filmed. It was clear that Hyunwoo didn’t have the strength to put up much of a fight anyway but he clearly wasn’t consenting. He was trashing a little on the bed but that just seems to fuel the man’s actions even more. The asshole was laughing softly and touching and kissing all over like he would with a normal lover. Hoseok almost threw up.

When the man was about to take Hyunwoo’s underwear off, Hoseok shut off the video. He couldn’t watch that. He quickly opened twitter and much to his dismay, Monsta X and Hyunwoo were trending and he saw that various clips of the video had been posted on the platform.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Hoseok muttered under his breath. This was so bad. The video was everywhere. He threw a quick glance at his lover who was still sleeping soundly next to him. Hoseok bit his lips and decided to open his insta, dreading the worst.

And he was right. Everybody was talking about the video. Some fans were supportive, saying that the people who did this were monsters who deserved to be put in jail and they were sending love to Hyunwoo but other people were a lot less nice, calling Hyunwoo awful and degrading names, saying he asked for it and that you could clearly see he liked it on the video. Hoseok wanted to freaking destroy those assholes. How could anyone be so hateful?

After a few more minutes on the internet, Hoseok decided to call their manager. The situation needed to be handled and fast. They had to act now to limit the damage. Hoseok slipped out of bed slowly, making sure to not wake up Hyunwoo, put on his underwear and went into the living room to make the phone call. Everybody else seemed to be asleep which was a good thing for now.

After only two rings, their manager picked up.

“I know, I’m already on it.” Was the first thing their manager said when picking up. It didn’t really surprise Hoseok to be honest, he was always the first aware of everything concerning them.

“What are we gonna do?” Hoseok asked, worry lacing his voice.

“First, I’m gonna get this video removed and find who posted it even if I’m pretty sure it was one of Mr. Wu’s men in retaliation for the arrest. Then, we’re gonna have to talk to the press, Hyunwoo is gonna have to talk. To explain and tell the truth because we can’t deny the video, it would be even worse for Hyunwoo and the group.”

“I won’t let you put Hyunwoo through that, you can’t ask him to talk about that in front of journalists for the whole world to see. He won’t do it, he can’t do it.” Hoseok answered firmly, trying to protect his lover at all cost.

“Then what do you suggest we do, Hoseok? If you have a better idea, enlighten me. I’m trying to do what’s best for Hyunwoo and Monsta X here, and right now I don’t see any other way.”

Hoseok paused for a minute, trying to think about a better solution but he could see none. Everything sucked and either way, the truth about what happened was bound to come to light but maybe Hyunwoo didn’t have to be the one to tell it. Maybe their agency could do it. It will be up to him anyway.

“I… I understand. But what should we do now? Should we cancel our schedule?” Hoseok asked, not really sure he was up to keep going as if everything was going fine when it was all but fine.

“Hyunwoo will put his activities on hold for now, but the rest of you will keep going as schedule. You have practice this afternoon, I’ll talk to all of you there after seeing Hyunwoo at the dorm in the beginning of the afternoon.”

“Can’t I stay with Hyunwoo a least for today? He’ll need support, I don’t think we should leave him alone.” Hoseok said, clearly not willing to leave Hyunwoo’s sides.

“You’ve missed enough practice days as it is, and you guys have a comeback just before Christmas, you need to be ready. I’ll make sure Hyunwoo isn’t alone in the dorm, don’t worry.”

Hoseok knew that meant one of their bodyguards will stay here with Hyunwoo but that didn’t comfort him much.

“I think it would still be better if I stay with Hyunwoo today. Just for today.” Hoseok insisted.

“Hoseok, you have to think about the band too. The others are working really hard to make up for you and Hyunwoo being absent so many times at practice, you have to think about them too. Please, just go to practice this afternoon, everything is gonna be alright.” Their manager said, clearly ending the discussion.

Hoseok sighed but surrendered. His manager wasn’t totally wrong.

“Ok… Well, I’m gonna get back to bed, see you this afternoon hyung.” And with that, Hoseok hung up without waiting for an answer. It wasn’t the conversation he had hoped for but when thinking about it, he didn’t see any other way the conversation could have gone. Their manager didn’t have a magic wand that would make everything disappear. Difficult decisions had to be made and they couldn’t do anything about it. Hoseok felt so lost, angry and sad at the same time. Hyunwoo had been through so much already and he promised him he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him anymore but here he was, completely powerless in front of the situation.

Hoseok sighed and bit his lips, swallowing loudly as he walked back to his and Hyunwoo’s room. As he was about to open the door, he clearly heard someone sobbing inside their bedroom. More exactly, he clearly heard Hyunwoo sobbing. Fuck.

“Baby…” Hoseok whispered as he walked in the darken room. Hyunwoo was lying on his side on the bed, his phone in one hand, scrolling frantically while tears kept running down his cheeks. Hoseok approached him slowly, crouching in front of him in slow motion and gently taking his phone away.

“Baby… I…I’m so sorry, but we’re gonna fix this I promise, it will be ok, you’ll — ”

“It won’t. It won’t be ok. How can it be ok, Hoseok? There’s a fucking video of me being sexually assaulted by two men going viral on the internet. It will never be fucking ok again.” Hyunwoo half whispered, half growled between his tears, while wiping them almost violently off his face.

Hoseok couldn’t help but letting escape a single tear after hearing those words. Hyunwoo sounded utterly broken, his voice was filled with despair and his eyes held such sadness and shame, Hoseok couldn’t hold his stare any longer.

“Hyunwoo, I— we—shit—come here.” And with that, Hoseok climbed onto the bed and took him in his arms, enlacing him tightly but lovingly. Hyunwoo instinctively buried his head into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, hugging him back just as tightly. Hoseok could feel hot tears running down his neck and every time he heard Hyunwoo sob or sniffle, his heart broke a little more. He didn’t know what to say so he just kept whispering sweet words in his lover’s ear while stroking his back and his hair.

After a while, when Hyunwoo had calmed down a little, Hoseok decided to break the silence. He spoke softly and kept hugging Hyunwoo.

“I talked to the manager earlier, babe. You’re gonna stay here today and he’ll call you to talk about… what happened. I’m so sorry I can’t stay with you, I tried I promise but with the comeback and the practices that I already missed and— ”

“It’s ok, I understand.” Hyunwoo spoke lowly in a very small voice. He sounded exhausted and somehow resigned. “Can we get some more hours of sleep together before you have to go?” Hyunwoo asked, looking up into Hoseok’s brown orbs with wide puppy-looking eyes.

“Of course, baby, of course.” Hoseok answered while pulling the sheets over their bodies and getting more comfortable on the pillows. Hyuwoo didn’t seem like he was ready to let go of Hoseok’s chest any time soon and it was totally fine with the owner. Hyunwoo was about to fall asleep when he felt a pair of lips on his forehead followed by sweets words.

“I love you Hyunwoo, more than anything in the world and I’ll be always here for you. Always.”

Hyunwoo let escape a single tear before falling into a dreamless sleep.

<strike>\----------</strike>

“Hoseok, please, concentrate!” The singing instructor ordered.

“But I am concentrating! It’s not my fault this note is too dam high!” Hoseok answered, clearly annoyed and almost rude. The singing instructor sighed.

“Maybe you should take a little break.” He suggested, which was more of an order than a suggestion but it didn’t matter, Hoseok got out of the room gladly.

How the fuck could he concentrate with what’s happening to Hyunwoo? He still remembered the look in Hyunwoo’s eyes when he left their room this morning to go to practice. The sadness and the hurt almost choked him up to tears but he had been forced to walk away by an apologetic Kihyun who was just trying to keep everybody together. The whole group was devastated, they all quickly learned about what happened when they woke up, their phones buzzing like Hoseok’s was. Hyunwoo had refused to see them, he just wanted to be left in his little bubble where only he and his loving boyfriend existed and stay cuddled up in Hoseok’s arms as long as possible. When he had been time to go, it felt so wrong to Hoseok to leave his boyfriend alone at a time like that but he did it anyway, after some more sweet kisses and promises of a quick return.

And Hoseok decided it was high time he returned to Hyunwoo. He had only been practicing for a little more than an hour but he just couldn’t stand it anymore. He didn’t even grab his stuffs back in the music room, he just got out of the building and in a cab as quick as possible. He shot a quick text to Kihyun, telling him where he was going and Kihyun promptly answered that he will cover up for him. Hoseok smiled and put his phone back in his pocket, his fingers tapping his knees anxiously while he asked the driver to go faster.

When the driver finally stopped in front of his building, Hoseok practically jumped out of the car. Seconds later, he was opening the front door of their apartment, which was completely quiet. He towed off his shoes quickly then went into the living room where he saw their so-called bodyguard playing a game on his phone, his earphones on, totally oblivious to the world. Hoseok sighed before ripping the earphones off.

“Has Hyunwoo left his room at all?” He asked the startled bodyguard.

“Hoseok! Mm… no, he hasn’t. I was about to go check on him, erm—”

“Don’t bother. You can go now.” Hoseok answered coldly before turning around to go into his and Hyunwoo’s room.

He didn’t bother to knock, he decided instead to just crack the door open a little to poke his head into the room carefully, not wanting to disrupt if Hyunwoo was sleeping, which he was.

Hoseok was about to close the door when something on the ground near the bed caught his eyes. An empty bottle of sleeping pills. His breathing stopped. His legs almost gave out. No. No. No, no, no, NO!

Hoseok never ran that fast in his life, in two strides he was at Hyunwoo’s bedside. There was an open bottle of water on the nightstand and some pills on the bed, near Hyunwoo seemingly sleeping face. Fuck. That couldn’t be happening. Hoseok could feel tears well up in his eyes. Suddenly, he grabbed Hyunwoo’s shoulders and started to shake him pretty violently, yelling and crying and urging him to wake up, to not leave him. But Hyunwoo didn’t wake up, he didn’t even stir a bit.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” Hoseok was losing it. But he had to do something. With shaky fingers, he called 119 and minutes later, an ambulance was here with all the medical staff. Hyunwoo was transported to the closest hospital, Hoseok never living his sides. Once in the ER, the doctors took over and Hoseok had to go sit down in the waiting room where he lived the most dreadful hour of his life, waiting, not knowing, imagining the worst.

He was soon joined by the other members and their managers. Hoseok had to use all of his self-control to not jump at the throat of the manager who didn’t want to let him stay with Hyunwoo today. In all honesty, he wasn’t really his fault what happened but Hoseok’s mind was clearly searching for someone to blame. And in the end, he only blamed himself, bawling his eyes out in Kihyun’s arms, saying that this was all his fault, that he should have known and listened to his guts.

“Shhhh, it’s nobody’s fault, you couldn’t have known. You need to be strong for when Hyunwoo wakes up because he will wake up. Stop crying, Hoseok, he’s gonna be find, you’ll see.” Kihyun reassured him, trying to reassure himself as much as he was comforting Hoseok.

“You don’t know that—” Hoseok started but was interrupted by the door of the operating room opening up and the doctor walking out.

Everybody stopped breathing, the doctor walked slowly towards them, taking off his face mask. Hoseok’s heart was about to burst out of his chest, he could feel sweat pooling on his neck. He was about to ask about Hyunwoo’s condition but the doctor cut him short once again.

“It was a close call but he’s gonna be ok.”


	7. Chapte 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just very sorry for the long wait and I hope you like the ending.  
Hope everybody is staying safe, thanks for reading guys !

“Minhyuk, could you pass me the—”

“Shhhh!” Hoseok interrupted, “he’s waking up!”

Everybody instantly gathered around the bed, looking worriedly at Hyunwoo’s face. The latter was tiredly opening his eyes, slowly getting use to the brightness of the white room. His vision was a little blurry for a couple of seconds, but when his eyes finally managed to focus on Hoseok’s worried face, he couldn’t help but start crying.

“Hey, hey, hey, babe, are you ok? What’s going on? Are you hurting?” Hoseok asked, getting even more worried, squeezing Hyunwoo’s hand like his life depended on it.

“I’m so sorry, pl—please forgive me, I—” But Hoseok didn’t let him finish.

“Don’t apologize, please, you have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should apologize, it’s me, I—I” Hoseok felt his throat closing up and his eyes watering. That wasn’t good, he needed to be strong for Hyunwoo, he couldn’t cry, at least not in front of him.

“We’re gonna give you guys some privacy, we’ll be back in a bit. It’s good to have you back, Hyuwoo.” Kihyun suddenly said, then squeezed Hyunwoo’s shoulder quickly, before leaving the room.

“Glad you’re ok hyung.” Changkyun said before leaving too, followed rapidly by all the others who also murmured some sweet things to Hyunwoo before exiting the hospital room as well.

Hoseok watched them leave quickly before returning all his attention to Hyunwoo.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice how awful you were actually feeling, I should have guessed but I—”

“Let’s make a pact, if I can’t apologize then you can’t either, understood?” Hyunwoo said with a small smile, his tears already dried up. “I’m just so glad to see you, I love you.” Hyunwoo finished almost in a whisper. Hoseok smiled too, eyes still a little teary but waterflows under control. He then leaned in on Hyunwoo’s bed and hugged him, bracing his head on his strong lover’s torso. Hyunwoo automatically brought a hand to play with Hoseok’s hair gently. Hoseok sighed, he finally could relax a little, Hyunwoo was here, in his arms and he was ok. That all that mattered right now.

“I love you too baby.” Hoseok finally said, before lifting his head and dropping a small kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

Hyunwoo was about to say something else when the door opened, letting in Hyunwoo’s doctor and a nurse. Hoseok stepped back from the bed, letting the doctor and the nurse do their jobs, first checking all of Hyunwoo’s vitals. After that was done, the nurse left and Hyunwoo’s doctor took a chair to sit next to him.

“Hoseok, it might be better if I talk to Hyunwoo alone for a minute.”

“No, he stays. Everything you have to say to me you can say it in front of him. I want him to stay.” And with that, Hyunwoo extended his hand for Hoseok to grab, which the latter did gladly and then stayed standing on the other side of Hyunwoo’s bed, holding his hand firmly but soothingly. The doctor just nodded and kept going.

“So physically, you’re good to go Hyunwoo. All your vitals are good, your body is all healed up, we’re just going to keep you in observation for the rest of the night and then you can be discharge first thing tomorrow.” The doctor said before falling weirdly silent.

“But…?” Hyunwoo continued, knowing that wasn’t all. The doctor sighed and started to talk again.

“But after you did what you did, I would advise you to stay with us in the psychiatric yard for a little while and follow a therapy. You went through something truly awful and traumatizing and I really believe professional help is what’s best for you right now. You don’t have to give me an answer right now but think about it tonight and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”

Hyunwoo just nodded, not looking at the doctor anymore, just staring at his and Hoseok’s fingers interlaced. The doctor sent a quick nod towards Hoseok as well before standing up and leaving the room. After he left, the room fell completely silent. Hoseok didn’t know what to do or say. He didn’t want to upset Hyunwoo more than the talk already did. But Hyunwoo needed to know one thing.

“I’ll be here. No matter what your decision is, I’ll stand by your side Hyunwoo. You’ll always have me.” Hoseok finally whispered in one breath, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand carefully.

“I know.” It was the only thing Hyunwoo answered before scooching over so Hoseok could lie down beside him which Hoseok did without hesitation, spooning and holding his lover tightly, while Hyunwoo rummaged through all of his thoughts, trying to sort them out while battling the tears forming in his eyes.

\---

“How are you doing today Hyunwoo?”

“Good. A little bit nervous I guess, but excited.”

“You’re going back to the dorm tonight, right?”

“Yeah, Hoseok will pick me up after our session and we’ll go get my stuff from my parents’ and then head back to the dorm.”

“How are you feeling about living with all the members again?”

“It’s a little intimidating to be honest… But Hoseok told me we got a new dorm, much bigger where we each have our own room so I guess it’ll be ok. I’ll have the space that I need when I need it.”

“And about returning to the idol life?”

“I think this is what stresses me the most. I know I’ve been getting ready to get back to work, Hoseok helped me a lot with that and I really think I’m ready but still… It’s been one year… What if the fans don’t want me in the group anymore? Or even the other guys? I don’t know, I’m just scared that I’m more gonna be a liability than anything else for them. They’ve been doing so great the past year, Hoseok did an amazing job at taking the leader position and I don’t really know where I’m gonna fit now.”

“Finding your spot again in the group might take a little time, it might not be easy at first but don’t let that bring you down. Anytime you feel like you’re losing control over the situation, talk to your fellow band members, they are your friends and they are very good friends, I could definitely tell by the way you guys interacted during our group sessions. They care very much about you and of course they want you back with them. As for the fans, you know they want you back just as much, it’s really the last thing you need to worry about Hyunwoo.” The psychiatrist said with a warm smile. She tapped her pen once on her little notepad before continuing. “But how do you feel about being in the public eye again? The press, the social media, the constant vloging. Do you feel ready for that?”

“Yes, I feel ready for that. I mean I’m not that all eager to get back into that but that doesn’t scare me anymore, I can handle it. Plus, I really want to re connect with the fans so that’ll be a good way to do it.”

The psychiatrist smiled again. Hyunwoo had made so much progress over the last year, she couldn’t help but feel like a proud mama. When he came to his first session a little more than a year ago, the man was in pieces. They worked really hard together to get him where he is today. It hasn’t been easy but they made it. Hyunwoo had and still has a really good support system which helped a lot. His family, his friends, his bandmates and most importantly his boyfriend had all played a key role in his healing. Of course, the journey wasn’t over and Hyunwoo will probably be healing all his life but at least now his mental health was good enough he could get back to a normal life, get back to being a singer, a dancer, a performer.

“Well, I think we’re done for the day, Hyunwoo. I’ll see you again in a month, ok? Just to check in.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for everything, really. I wouldn’t be here today without your help.” Hyunwoo said, getting up from his chair.

“Well, you did most of the work you know.” Her therapist answered with a genuine smile. Hyunwoo just smiled back and waved her goodbye before leaving her office. Hoseok was already waiting for him in the lobby.

“Hey you,” Hoseok started as he got up. They were in public so they couldn’t seem too close but the smile that Hyunwoo gave him was worth a million kisses. Hoseok felt so happy right now, Hyunwoo was such in a better place today. He looked truly happy and that made Hoseok’s heart swell.

“Let’s go.” Hyunwoo answered, his hand brushing slightly past Hoseok’s hip, before leaving the building.

\---

“SURPRISE!”

“Changkyun! We were supposed to say ‘Weclome home, hyung’! It’s a welcome home party!” Kihyun chastised, as everyone started laughing.

“Oops, sorry Ki, I forgot! Welcome home, hyung!” Changkyun exclaimed, opening his arms wide with a smile even wider.

“Glad to see nothing has changed.” Hyunwoo answered with a light chuckle, while dropping his bags in the hallway. He then proceeded to hug each member very tightly, giving special attention to their favourite maknae.

“I saved you the biggest room, hyung! Minhyuk wanted to take it but I fought for you—”

“Shut up, ‘Kyun, you didn’t fight for anything.” Jooheon snickered while giving a light slap on the back of the younger’s head.

“Hey, that hurts!” Changkyun started to exclaimed.

“I’ll show you your room.” Hoseok said to Hyunwoo, taking him by the hand to guide him down the corridor and away from the ‘Changkyun show’ happening in the living room. Hyunwoo’s room was the furthest away and the biggest with its own private bathroom. The room was mostly white and beige, very simple, not a lot of furniture but just what Hyunwoo needed. A big double bed, a closet, some shelves and a desk. It looked nice and relaxing.

“This dorm is really nice.” Hyunwoo said after Hoseok just closed the bedroom’s door behind them. “And if Minhyuk really wants this room, he can totally have it, I don’t mind.”

“But I do mind.” Hoseok answered with a smirk. “It’s the only room with its own bathroom, don’t you think it’s gonna come in handy?” He continued, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I think you have a real addiction to sex.” Hyunwoo said, coming closer to his boyfriend and placing his hands on his lover’s hips.

“No, I’m addicted to you.”

Hyunwoo just barked out a laugh and kissed his boyfriend’s pouting lips before answering.

“That was the cheesiest thing you ever said to me, I think. But I like it.”

“And I like you.” Hoseok said with a smirk, while placing his hands around his lover’s neck and then lightly kissed Hyunwoo’s lips. Hyunwoo chuckled again, shaking his head at his boyfriend’s antics.

“Ok, lover boy, let’s get my bags in here and start to unpack.”

“We’re gonna get your stuff in here but we’ll unpack later. There’s a party—”

“Guys! You’ll have plenty of time to baptize the room later, now come out and party!” Jooheon shouted from the other side of the bedroom’s door. Hyunwoo and Hoseok both started giggling and shaking their heads at the younger outburst but did exactly as he said and came out to party with the rest of the guys. They had invited some other fellow artists and friends from Starship and some of their closest staff. Hyunwoo really appreciated seeing everyone again. They all knew what happened to him and what he went through the last year but he didn’t feel embarrassed or anything in their presence, he had learned to move past that and to just focus on the now. Plus, everybody was smart enough to not bring up the subject and act totally normal around him so that helped.

Around one in the morning, the party started to die down, most of the people had schedules the next morning and couldn’t stay up too late. The boys said goodbye to all of their guests and once the last one left, they all sat down on the couches in their living room, Hoseok curled up on Hyunwoo’s chest with Hyunwoo lightly stroking his hair.

“Thanks for the party guys, it was very cool to see everybody again and to have fun and relax before going back to work.” Hyunwoo said, smiling at all his members.

“Glad you enjoyed it hyung because that was probably the last party we’re gonna have in a while, we gonna have so much work to do the next months and—” Minhyuk started but was cut short by Kihyun.

“Yeah but nothing insurmountable, don’t worry Hyunwoo.” Kihyun finished, elbowing Minhyuk discreetly as a way of saying ‘stop scaring him off already!’.

“I’m not worried, Ki.” Hyunwoo said with a soft smile. “I know we’ll manage, like always. You did amazing the last year, I was really proud of you guys, really. I know it must have been tough for you but you were incredible on stage. Always acing those interviews and variety shows. You did a very a great job.” Hyunwoo finished with a warm smile towards his members, showing them how proud he was of them.

“And here we go, Minhyuk is crying again. You’ve been crying a lot lately Min, sure you’re not pregnant?” Changkyun teased while Minhyuk hurriedly dried off the few tears that escaped before flipping him the bird.

“Shut up Kyun, unlike you, Min has feelings. Come here little baby.” Kihyun said while squeezing Minhyuk in a bone crushing hug that made the both of them laugh.

“Maybe if I got more hugs, I’ll start developing feelings.” Changkyun sighed, feigning sadness.

“Maybe if you were less of a pain in the—”

“I think I’m gonna go to bed.” Hyungwon exclaimed out of nowhere, clearly too tired for this. “I’ll see you tomorrow, glad to have you back hyung.” And with one last wave of his hand, Hyungwon left to go back to his room.

“I’ll do the same, goodnight guys! See you bright and early tomorrow!” Jooheon said, before shuffling to his room as well. Then, the rest of the members did the same until it was just Hoseok and Hyunwoo in the living room, Hoseok still curled up in his boyfriend’s laps.

“We should do the same, babe. We gotta get up early tomorrow.” Hyunwoo whispered in his lover’s ear, still stroking his hair lightly.

“Not tired, just wanna hold you.” Hoseok pouted, holding on tighter to Hyunwoo’s chest. Hyunwoo chuckled lightly at the childish but very cute behaviour and decided to pick up his lover bridal style and get them to his room anyway. Hyunwoo laid his cute boyfriend down gently on the bed before dropping a small kiss to his forehead.

“I was thinking we could take a quick shower then go to bed?” Hyunwoo offered, almost timidly. At the proposition, Hoseok’s whole face lighted up, a big dopey smile now adorning his features.

“That seems like a great idea! Go on first, I’ll join you in a minute.” Hyuwoo smiled and went in direction of the en suite bathroom, taking his shirt off on the way and turning around to drop it off on the floor while winking at Hoseok.

“Fuck.” The latter murmured under his breath before running out of the room.

Five minutes later, Hyunwoo heard the door to the bathroom open. He didn’t turn around, kept enjoying the warm water and soon enough he felt two hands traveling his naked torso and an equally naked torso leaning against his back. Hoseok started to pamper his the older lover’s neck with light feathery kisses until he reached his ear.

“I want to switch things up a little bit tonight, I mean, if you’re ok with it of course.” Hoseok murmured in Hyunwoo’s ear.

“Oh! What are you thinking about?” Hyunwoo asked a little bit confused, after turning around to look at his boyfriend.

“I want you to fuck me tonight.”

“Are you sure? I thought this was kinda totally off the table.” Hyunwoo replied, really confused now. Hoseok and him already talked about this, about a few months ago because, well, Hyunwoo found it weird that Hoseok never wanted to switch. It’s totally normal to have a preference but Hoseok never even mentioned it or asked Hyunwoo if maybe he wanted to try it. Hyunwoo found it particularly weird because their sex life was anything but boring and Hoseok always had new ideas or kinks to explore in bed but it always ended up with Hyunwoo bottoming. Which really didn’t bother the older at all but still, he felt like there was something he was missing. And he was right. He learned that Hoseok had a really bad first experience with his first boyfriend, said boyfriend who dumped him the next morning. But the story didn’t end here. After that, Hoseok tried it again with another guy that he trusted and really cared about but it still wasn’t a pleasant experience at all so he then decided that bottoming was just not for him, end of the story. Hyunwoo really felt bad after hearing that, he really wanted to show Hoseok that bottoming could feel amazing, even for him but he never dared to bring up the subject again. It clearly upset his boyfriend and brought a lot of bad memories so Hyunwoo just left it there. But now, Hoseok was asking for it and it really troubled him. Did he feel pressure? Did Hyunwoo say something that could make him feel that way without knowing? Did he feel like he has to as a reward for Hyunwoo completing his therapy? Hyunwoo’s mind was spiralling and Hoseok clearly noticed his boyfriend anxiety.

“Hey, hey, hey, stop it. I don’t feel pressure or anything, I really want it. I’ve been wanting it for a while actually. Since you brought it up, I couldn’t stop thinking about it but in a good way, you know? I did some work on myself and I— well, it’s little embarrassing— but I went to see a sexologist because well, I thought the problem might come from me.” Hyunwoo’s face must have shown his bewilderment in a comic way because Hoseok started to chuckle lightly and pinched his nose. “Stop looking at me like that, you dork! Sex therapy was actually great but I didn’t want to talk to you about it just yet but the doctor really helped me work through some stuff and gave me some exercises to help me relax and loosen up a bit.” Hoseok finished with a little smirk, pressing their naked hips together under the shower. A whole-body shiver went through Hyunwoo’s body, he could feel his boyfriend getting hard against his thigh and he wasn’t any better.

“Hoseok, I—I don’t know what to say, I mean, I—I would love to—to do it, but are you ok? I mean, with the therapy and all, I don’t want—”

“Just say yes babe. And yeah I’m ok, you have nothing to worry about.” Hoseok said with a genuine smile, before kissing his boyfriend’s lips tenderly.

“Ok then, but not in the shower. On the bed, please.” Hyunwoo asked, wanting their ‘first time’ to be as comfortable as possible.

“Works for me.” Hoseok answered with a smirk before exiting the shower and then dried himself off quickly before going to lie down on Hyunwoo’s bed. Hyunwoo followed soon after, still a little apprehensive but very much excited.

“Hurry babe!” Hoseok whined cutely, a stark contrast with his very suggestive position on the bed. Hyunwoo’s breath started to quicken and in two big strides he was at the foot of the bed, devouring his lover’s body with his eyes. The younger one just smirked and opened his legs a little bit wider giving Hyunwoo a prime view of his most intimate parts.

“Wha—what’s that?” The older one said, almost choking on his words, clearly affected by the view.

“You like it?” Hoseok asked, visibly amused and satisfied by the reaction he got from his boyfriend. “I wanted to be all ready for you babe.” Hyunwoo let out a little groan at that and climbed on the bed, crawling between his lover’s legs until he could kiss Hoseok so fiercely the younger one almost forgot how to breath. Hyunwoo was clearly in control of the kiss, his tongue tasting each and every corner of his lover’s mouth like it was marking its territory to then lightly bite on Hoseok’s plush lower lips before kissing his way down his neck. At the same time, his hands were roaming all over the younger one’s thighs, getting closer to where Hoseok wanted them the most but never quite reaching the area. Hoseok couldn’t help but letting escape little moans that were directly swallowed by Hyunwoo’s hungry mouth, this was too good but he needed more.

“Pl-ah!-please babe! Touch m—me!” Hoseok whimpered, grabbing at Hyunwoo’s biceps strongly.

“I got you baby.” Hyunwoo answered, two fingers now circling his lover’s hole but not quite touching it. Hyunwoo continued to go down Hoseok’s body with his kisses, now sucking on one hard nipple making Hoseok moan shamelessly and wriggle under his lips.

“Ah! Come on! St—stop teasing!” The younger one whined between two moans which made Hyunwoo chuckle lightly and finally grab the small pearly handle of the white butt plug his boyfriend had in. He shoved it firmly but carefully, directly hitting that sweet spot. Hoseok’s reaction was quite a view as the younger arched in back beautifully on the bed, twisting the bed sheets between his fingers while throwing his head back.

“Feels good baby?” Hyunwoo asked, already knowing the answer but just wanting to hear it from his baby’s mouth.

“So go-ah!-good! More!” Hoseok answered, head still thrown back with his eyes closed. Hyunwoo complied, thrusting the plug in and out, always making sure to hit that sweet spot while tracing random patterns on his abs with his tongue. The sensations were overwhelming for Hoseok. He didn’t think it could feel that good but Hyunwoo was making him see stars with every flick of his wrist.

“I wanna feel you…” Hyunwoo whispered, looking up at Hoseok’s beautiful face, eyes fill with lust, love and admiration. “Baby look at me.” And Hoseok did just that, locking eyes with Hyunwoo while unconsciously biting his lower lips. Without breaking eyes contact, Hyunwoo slowly removed the plug, gaining a small whine from the younger but no real complaint. He then used the excess lube pooling around his boyfriend’s hole to quickly lube up two fingers, never breaking eyes contact with the younger. Hyunwoo then kissed Hoseok’s navel while inserting slowly and carefully the two fingers, looking for any reaction on Hoseok’s face. Hoseok just moaned softly and gripped his lover’s biceps tighter. Hyunwoo carefully started to scissors his fingers while searching for that sweet spot again.

“Ah! Right there!” Hoseok exclaimed while closing his eyes and finally breaking eyes contact. “Please, please, please!” Hoseok was squirming under his lover’s touch, trying to grind down on the fingers that brought him so much pleasure but at the same time not enough.

“Shhh, I got you babe.” Hyunwoo said gently, dropping a small kiss on the inner side on one of his younger lover’s thigh while massaging his sweet spot softly, enjoying the way Hoseok was moaning and panting rapidly underneath him. After a few more minutes, Hyunwoo pull out his fingers entirely before dropping a small kiss on Hoseok’s nose and leaving the bed. “I’m just getting the lube in my bag babe, need to prep you some more.” And in no time, Hyunwoo was back between his boyfriend’s leg, squirting lube all over his fingers.

“Ok, just relax for me baby, I’ll take care of you.” Hoseok just nodded and focused on Hyunwoo’s charming face as he tried to relax. Hyunwoo slowly inserted back two fingers, moving them around a bit just for good measure and then added another one carefully. He felt Hoseok tighten around him and looked up to see him closing his eyes and scrunched his eyebrows, probably due to the discomfort he was feeling. “Breath, baby, you’re doing good.” The plug that Hoseok had in was fairly small and didn’t stretch him nearly enough for what was to come so Hyunwoo had to make completely sure that his lover was well stretched out. He would never forgive himself if he hurt his baby. Seeing and feeling that Hoseok had some trouble relaxing, Hyunwoo lightly grabbed his throbbing length and started to stroke him gently to distract him. In an instant, Hyunwoo could feel Hoseok relaxing around his fingers and starting moving them again in order to reach that little bundle of nerves.

“AH! Yes! More, ‘Woo, pl—please!” Hoseok exclaimed, opening his legs wider while throwing an arm over his eyes. Hyunwoo could see how red his face was, his lips puffy and red from too much biting and his torso shining beautifully with sweat. What a sight for sore eyes, Hyunwoo thought and couldn’t help but letting out a groan and cursed under his breath. He was so hard right now it almost hurt, he needed some relief so badly but he wouldn’t rush his younger boyfriend.

“I’m ready, I’m rea—ready!” Hoseok panted, between two moans. “Come on!” He pouted, grinding harder on the fingers.

“Impatient much.” Hyunwoo teased, before capturing his boyfriend’s lips in a heated kiss, all tongues and teeth but still perfect. “I’m just adding one more.” Hyunwoo said in a breath, millimetres away from his lover’s mouth.

“Don’t need to, come—aouch!” Hoseok whined, the stretch of a fourth finger not going unnoticed.

“Relax for me baby, it’ll feel good soon, I promise.” Hyunwoo whispered in his ears before peppering his neck with light kisses, resting on his side next to his lover while both his hands were working to relax and open up his baby. Hoseok turned his head to the side to hide in his boyfriend’s neck, little whimpers and whines escaping his lips now and then.

“It—it hurts ‘Woo…” Hoseok whined, his head still buried in his lover neck. “Fuck! I want th—this so much! Fucking body not co—cooperating!” Hoseok said angrily between two whimpers.

“Breath baby, just breath and focus on me. Focus on my voice. You’re doing great, it’s your first time, it’s totally normal how your body is reacting, ok? I love you, just relax for me baby.” As he was talking, Hyunwoo could feel Hoseok relax around his fingers and he could move them just enough to reach that spot again inside him while stroking him more firmly.

“Mmmm…yeah o—ok, much better.” Hoseok half moaned, half spoke, not hiding his face anymore but looking directly into his lover’s eyes. It had always been such a turn on for him to lock eyes with Hyunwoo while doing it, always. Hyunwoo didn’t break eyes contact and kept going, accelerating his thrusts and hitting Hoseok’s sweet spot dead on. Hoseok was gripping his biceps so hard, he was sure he’ll have some bruises the next day but he didn’t care, nothing mattered right now beside Hoseok and finally giving him the pleasure he deserved.

“Ok baby, I think you’re ready now.” Hyunwoo whispered in his ears. “It’ll be maybe a little comfier if you get on all fours but I—”

“No, I wanna see your face.” Hoseok said immediately. Hyunwoo just smiled.

“Same babe.” And then he was back between Hoseok’s thighs. He leaned in to kiss his boyfriend gently. There was no rush in that kiss, it was slow and tender and it still took Hoseok’s breath away. Hyunwoo pulled away with a smile to reach for the lube once again. He quickly lubed himself up, the touch making him groan lowly.

“Ready babe?” Hyunwoo asked while positioning himself, lightly pressing against the Hoseok’s stretched entrance but not quite breaching just yet. Hoseok grabbed onto one of Hyunwoo’s hand, interlacing their fingers tightly. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, like it wasn’t the first time they had sex or anything but being on the receiving end for the first time made his skin crawl with anxiety. Also, the fact that Hyunwoo was not by any means small in size contributing a lot to his nervousness if he was being honest.

“Yeah, just go slow please.” Hoseok finally answered, heart beating so hard in his chest he was sure Hyunwoo could hear it.

“Of course.” It was all that Hyunwoo said before starting to slowly push inside Hoseok’s tight body. The younger’s body tensed up automatically, Hyunwoo could feel and see that Hoseok wasn’t comfortable but seemed determined to not say anything. “Talk to me baby, how are you feeling?” Hyunwoo prompted, wanting to make sure he wasn’t reading things wrong.

“You—you’re a lot bi—bigger than four fin—fingers.” Hoseok answered between heavy pants. He was concentrating hard on his breathing, trying to relax as much as possible. Hyunwoo couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at that.

“You’re doing great babe, I love you.” Hoseok just smiled, squeezed his boyfriend’s fingers and closed his eyes to help him focus. Hyunwoo kept pushing slowly while peppering small kisses on Hoseok’s hard abs, trying to distract him as best as possible while using all his self-control to not go any faster. Being inside his lover for the first time felt like heaven, it was warm, tight and wet due to all the lube they used. It was perfect. Hyunwoo was moaning lowly against his boyfriend’s abs, sending shivers down the younger’s spine. Finally, Hyunwoo bottomed out.

“Babe look at me, you’re good?” Hyunwoo asked, a little worried at Hoseok’s crunched up face.

“It hurts…” The younger one replied while opening his eyes. Hyunwoo then saw immediately the tears that were pooling in his lover’s beautiful brown eyes.

“Fuck, Hoseok, I’m so so—”

“But it’s ok! Don’t pull out, please!” Hoseok exclaimed when he felt Hyunwoo started to move back.

“But you’re crying!” Hyunwoo said, panic and guilt were starting to settle in his guts.

“Please, just don’t move and hold me. I want this, it’ll get better soon.” Hoseok asked, locking his teary eyes with his lover’s. Hyunwoo complied, still a little unsure, he clearly wasn’t planning on making Hoseok cry tonight (at least not from pain), the sight was so troubling, he felt so guilty. He held on the younger one tightly, murmuring sweet words into his ears while stroking his sides gently and kissing away the few tears that escaped. A couple minutes later, Hyunwoo felt Hoseok move his hips experimentally. The older one couldn’t help but let escape a deep moan that he muffled in Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok repeated the movement, with a little more assurance this time.

“Ah! Baby, I—can I move?” Hyunwoo asked, panting heavily against the other’s neck.

“Yes, please.” Hoseok whispered, trying to move his hips to find that good feeling again. Hyunwoo didn’t waste any time and starting thrusting slowly into Hoseok’s tight body, trying to find that sweet spot again.

“YES! Right there, please Hyunwoo.” Hoseok exclaimed all of a sudden, squirming and tensing under Hyunwoo’s body. Hyunwoo didn’t miss a beat and hit his lover’s prostate dead on, accelerating his thrusts as he could feel Hoseok opening up.

“Fuck yeah! Oh my g—god Hyunwoo! Ah! I love y—you! More, more, more!” Hoseok started to blubber, trashing his head on the pillow, his hips moving to meet Hyunwoo’s every thrust. The pleasure felt multiplied compared to before, it was so intense for Hoseok, it never felt something quite like that. Tears were rolling down his cheeks again but this time it was very very very happy tears. It was so good, Hoseok wished it would go on forever but at last, he felt this familiar feeling building in his lower belly, he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Babe, I’m go—gonna—ah! I can’t!”

“It’s ok baby, let it go, cum for me.” Hyunwoo whispered against his lips, panting and moaning shamelessly into the younger’s mouth. He wasn’t going to be far behind his younger lover, this was way too good, his whole body was on fire and knowing that he was making his boyfriend feel just as good was just on another level for him. A few more thrusts and Hoseok was coming almost violently on his stomach, gripping Hyunwoo’s biceps so hard it might have drowned blood. Seeing his boyfriend come like that was the last straw for Hyunwoo who came a few seconds later, buried deep inside Hoseok’s warm body. Both of them were silent for a few moments, catching their breath and just enjoying the closeness. Hyunwoo buried his nose into his lover’s neck, making a mess of Hoseok’s cum between their bodies but he didn’t care. This was perfect.

“Thank you. I love you Hyunwoo.” Hoseok finally said, stroking his boyfriend’s hair tenderly.

“I love you too.” Hyunwoo answered, dropping a small kiss on his collarbone.

“We should take a shower though, and probably change the bedsheets.” Hoseok said smirking. Hyunwoo only nodded and gripped Hoseok’s torso tighter, silently asking for five more minutes of cuddling.


	8. Epilogue

_ **10 years later** _

“Hyunwoo, hurry! We gonna miss our flight!” Hoseok urged while putting their luggage in the trunk of their brand-new Audi.

“I’m coming!” Hyunwoo yelled from the porch, locking their front door.

Five minutes later and they were both of the way to the airport, Hoseok driving while Hyunwoo checked for the hundredth time that they had all the papers they needed.

“We got everything?” Hoseok asked, a little bit nervous. He knew deep down that they had everything ready, completed and signed, that wasn’t the thing he was really stressing about and Hyunwoo felt it immediately. The older one took Hoseok’s hand that wasn’t holding the wheel and squeezed it gently.

“We got everything and we got this babe. We’re ready, I know we are. It’ll be great, don’t stress too much love.” Hyunwoo said, trying to give his husband as much strength and reassurance as possible.

“Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.”

\---

They just landed and now it was Hyunwoo’s turn to freak out a little.

“What do we do if the clothes don’t fit? Should we go buy some other clothes just to be sure? Maybe those ones are going to be too warm for the season, don’t you think?” Hyunwoo asked while they were getting in a cab in direction of their hotel.

“Babe, relax please. The clothes will be just fine, we spent hours picking them, we already thought about everything. Now breath and relax.” Hoseok said before dropping a small kiss on his husband’s pouting lips. “I’m gonna text Minhyuk to let them all know we got here alright.” Hyunwoo just nodded and rested his head against the window, trying to stop his brain from overthinking.

\---

Today was the day. Hyunwoo and Hoseok didn’t sleep well last night, yet their hotel room was perfect, furnished with everything they asked for, but still they slept very poorly, both of them way too anxious about the next day. And now here they were, in front of this huge building, not quite ready to go inside just yet.

“I think I’ve never been that stressed and excited at the same time before, not even for our debut stage.” Hoseok said like he was talking to himself, not taking his eyes off the door.

“Me neither.” Hyunwoo answered, taking Hoseok’s hand in his. “Come on, let’s go in, I can’t wait anymore.” Hyunwoo finally said, the excitation taking over. Hyunwoo buzzed on the intercom and took a step back. Seconds later, the door opened on a young lady wearing an apron with paint on it.

“Mr. and Mr. Lee-Son I presume?” The woman asked with a gentle smile.

“Yes, that’s us.” Hyunwoo said while showing her both of their IDs.

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Park Sun-hi, come on in!” The young girl said while making way for them to enter.

Once inside, Sun-hi lead them to her office where they could get all the paperwork done.

“Ok, well, I think everything is in order here.” Sun-hi said after looking over all the official documents and other papers that the couple had brought. She lifted up her head and smiled. “Let’s go meet your daughter.”

___

“She’s so beautiful.” Hyunwoo whispered in total admiration.

Him and Hoseok were lying on their bed in their hotel room, on their sides facing each other with their daughter Lee-Son Ji-eun sleeping peacefully between them, her little fists gripping her new whale plushie.

“She is.” Hoseok agreed, lightly stroking the back of the 6 months old baby. “I thought I could never have that.” Hoseok continued, looking up at Hyunwoo’s face. “A family of my own with the man that I love, I feel so lucky.” Hoseok said, a small tear rolling down his cheek. Hyunwoo wiped it away quickly before pressing a chaste kiss on his husband’s lips.

“I didn’t believe it either.” Hyunwoo started, staring vacantly into space. “It still kinda feel like it’s not reality sometimes, like I’m still dreaming you know. I mean, the last few months have been so intense and crazy and so so good, between our retirement from the industry, our wedding and now the adoption. It feels too good to be true sometimes, like it can’t last.” Hyunwoo finished in a whisper.

“It will last, Hyunwoo. It won’t maybe always be easy but in the end, we’ll work through it, together. This is our reality now and nothing or no one is gonna take that happiness away from us.” Hoseok said, taking Hyunwoo’s hand in his, like to ground him in the moment and make him feel how real all this was. Hyunwoo smiled and squeezed his husband’s hand. Yes, this was his life now and this was all he ever dreamt of.

“I love you Hoseok, always.”

“I love you too ‘Woo, always and forever.”

_ **THE END** _


End file.
